The Junk Files: Some of the Net’s Ugliest Finds

When we think of browsing the net classifieds, we usually envision diamond in the rough ATV examples; those rare garage-kept specimens with virtually zero hours that some clueless old lady is looking to move out of the way for bargain-basement pricing.

However, there is another side to the classified game; a much darker side. For every dream machine on the cheap it appears there are multiple nightmares that optimistic sellers are hoping to pawn off on some sucker for top dollar.

The following chronicle are actual current classified ads pulled straight from the net. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

1987 Yamaha MOTO4

This little beauty’s main selling point? It includes the original owner’s manual. And we’re guessing you’re going to need it if any attempts at restoration are to take place. The seller says, “Motor has good compression- no spark- I’m not going to mess with it anymore”. Is it just us or does it look like this thing is on loan from Dr. Frankenstein’s lab? The asking price for all this hopefulness? $500.

1984 Kawasaki KLT 250

This is one of those machines so rare that few individuals even know what one looks like. Sadly, after reviewing this guy’s ad, it’s clear you’re still not going to know what one looks like. We imagine this was in fact a KLT 250 at some point in time, probably back when Cyndi Lauper was teaching the world that Girls Just Want to Have Fun and Ghostbusters was in theaters. Now it appears you can purchase some of the machine’s legacy; namely its oxidization over the past 31-years along with a few pieces of the original plastic for an unbeatable $75. Today only though.

Incomplete Yamaha Blaster

Disclosing the fact that this one is “a few pieces short of complete” isn’t even a necessity here. Perhaps it would have been easier to just try and market this one as a potential 4-wheeled bicycle project for a very resourceful backyard mechanic. The good news? This could be yours for $250. “Some assembly required”.

1983 Honda 250SX

Not only does this ad proclaim the fact that the machine actually runs, it also goes on to say it includes a second parts machine. The trouble here is identifying which is which. “Runs but needs side cover cleaned up or changed out/ leaks oil, needs brakes”. We’re venturing the tree growing up through the frame did it no favors mechanically. The asking price? $400 and the seller actually says, “no low ballers”.

Kawasaki Bayou(s)

One would almost think that mathematically, it would be impossible to own this many of the same machine and yet have not a single one of them complete or run. Yet here we are. This guy has apparently decided to sell off what can only be described as his Bayou graveyard for the unbeatable asking price of $800. We’re guessing the flatbed and tow-truck rental are out-of-pocket.

PT Barnum told us, “There’s a sucker born every minute”. We get the feeling the internet may have sped up that statistic.