One time I drove up to a big tree and stopped when my front bumper was touching. I put it in 4 wheel drive and gave it some gas. It kept going until it stood straight up with the whole frame up against the tree. Of course I fell off, and I was LMAO.

 

This got me to thinking back to my first and last fight with a deer, which happened years ago when I live in Texas. Forgive me because I know this is a little off the topic, but here it is........

This story, still to this day, brings tears to all my buddies’ eyes. It was a cold February night in North East Texas with a full moon that lit up all the hay fields along the road side. I was on my way home from a long evening of fixing B-52s for the largest non profit organization in the world, and was getting with-in a few miles of being home.

I was in my old Nissan Pick Up and was the only one on the road for miles so I was going a little fast for the narrow lane road when I suddenly saw a deer jump the fence on the left side of the road up a head of me. I got into the brakes until I saw the deer clear the road in front of me, and then got back on the gas. I was just then patting myself on the back about how my superior driving skills had saved the deer and my little truck from certain damage, when all of the sudden the whole fence row just ahead of me lit up with moon light reflecting off of deer sides…………..lots of 'em.

I slammed on my brakes, but it was no use, there were deer everywhere. I hit three deer with the front of the truck just before I got stopped, and then two more ran into the side of the truck after I got stopped. Deer were jumping around the truck everywhere as I sat there in disbelief. One by one they all got up and ran off, except one lying out in front of the truck. So I got out of the truck and took a look at the poor little doe lying in the head lights with a bone sticking out of her leg, looking all lifeless.

Being the redneck that I am, I said to myself “She’ll cook up good”. So, I picked up the poor lifeless doe, put her in the back of the truck and then cut its throat so it would start to bleed out and headed off to the house. Well, I pulled into the driveway and shut off the truck. As I was gathering up my cell phone and crap to get out, I had my door open and dome light on, I was very startled to see, at a glance in my rear view mirror, a bloody face looking at me through the back glass of the truck cab.

Needless to say, I was a little taken back with this turn of events, but I got my wits about me and thought well, this ought not be too bad; she’s already been run over and had her throat cut. So I was feeling pretty confident as I got out of the truck with my knife again to finish the deed. She was lying on her belly in the bed of the truck and we were eye to eye as I was deciding my next move. I figured I’d just grab her by the ear and get a better cut on her throat; it was a good plan I felt.

As I got a good grip on her ear with my left hand she suddenly freaked out and in one bound was on her feet and rearing up to box me with her front legs. I still had a hold on her ear and this kept her from getting a full swing at me as she was boxing with me. She would rare up and box, I’d block with my right fore arm then jab at her with the knife. This went on for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only about a 30 second round, with the doe a clear winner of that round.

A little voice in my head told me to “let go of the deer stupid”, so I did and took a few steps back to figure on my next move. It suddenly clicked in my head that I am a gun owner and do not have to subdue my dinner with a knife. So I walked over to the bed room window, where inside my darling wife Tammie was sleeping peacefully, and beat on the window to wake her up.

I told her “Baby it’s me, meet me at the door with a pistol”. She met me at the door and I traded the bloody knife for the pistol and with out explaining, I went back to the truck for round two. I was hoping with all my might that I find the deer dead in the bed of the truck, but to my dismay she was a live and I’d even venture to say, still very agitated.

I thought, well I don’t want to shoot my truck, so I’m just gonna grab her by the ear and pull her head up and then “BANG” I would be the victor. I grabbed her by the ear, but before I could do anything she had leaped onto her feet again. But this time instead of boxing with me, she, for lack of a better description, just leaped into the air. This would not have been a problem except I still had her by the ear, so when she jumped up I pulled her up and over me in the air by her ear.

I realized my mistake just in time to let go and run backwards a few steps as she landed between me and my pickup. I watched in disbelieve as she jumped up and turned away from me to run off, but instead, ran into my still opened truck door and then in the next instant leaped into the cab of my truck. You folks have no idea how much thrashing a wounded deer will do inside a truck cab, nor do you know how bad deer blood will smell after a few days in upholstery.

Anyway, after a few seconds the deer found its way out of the truck and fell out on the ground. She then looked up at me and crawled up under my truck like a dog. I could not believe this deer had just kicked my *** and then destroyed the inside of my truck. So now I was mad and would have followed this deer through hell and back to finish her off.

I got down on the ground to see if I had a shot under the truck; I didn’t want to shoot my gas tank or ruin a tire. I saw that I would have a clear shot from between the front tires, so I crawled up under the truck and lined up for a head shot. Just as I took the shot I was thinking I hope it’s not going to be too loud under here, when “BLAM”. I couldn’t hear crap, just a loud ringing; but I was the clear winner of round two!!

As I crawled out from under the truck I saw Tammie on the front porch saying something, but darned if I could here her. My poor wife thought I had just killed somebody as all she could see were two shadows fighting in the moon light. I used to watch those shows on TV “when animals attack” and think “what an idiot” how could any body get in a situation like that? Now days I’m not so hard on those folks.

 

So did you ever find out what your wife was saying? Did it sound like Dumb Bass?

 

That is too funny. The pictures it brought up in my mind had me laughing hard.

 

 

Where to start, this one time I was riding down the road to get to a ridge with a trail that I ride, well some round bails caught my eye, so I pulled up to it put the warrior
In 1 and started pushin it across the feild.
And another time on my grandpas kawi prairie, I was just doing it to do it not thinking at all I put it in reverse and started to do a reverse donut, it started to backfire so I pushed the override button and and I had it goin.... But the wrong way. The front tires came up and it threw me off I still have the shorts I was wearing that day,
and another time I was prolly 10 miles away and I broke down, boy my dad was pissed

 

Couple weeks ago I traded my chinese quad for a ATC 200e (3 wheeler) the thing ran great but was 4 different colors. When I got home I spent 3 hrs removing plastics and giving it a $4 rattle can paint job then finished reinstalling the plastics the following morning. As I was finishing up my buddy showed up wanting to go riding (told him about getting it the night before), so he got on his quad and 1.5 miles later we were at his farm. If you know anything about 3 wheelers you know they were invented to go through rice fields and that makes them great at mud and creek crossings. After 2 hrs of riping the mud holes into one long mudpit the legnth of his field, running up and down the creek, and making fun of him evry time I had to pull his fourtrax 250 out I got cocky. My old ATC 185 which is 95% the same machine would float and there was a nice looking hollow in the creek that on previous trips had never been over a foot maybe a foot and a half deep. So with a 'hey watch this' (yup, thats never good)

 

I hit it doing 30-35 with the intent of soaking him. Well I made it about 2-3 feet into the pit and discovered 2 disturbing facts.
1) Over the past 5-6 months the hollow had washed out considerably.
2) my new to me ATC 200e doesn't float with a rider on it.
I know both of these facts because by the 5ft mark I was up to my chest in the murky water sitting on my trike swearing. As I climed off I found out that it does float without a rider on it 'cause it came up and knocked me on my a$$. After my buddy towed me home taunting me the whole way (I dont recall deserveing that, lol) I began the process of dring the machine. Drained the oil, pulled the plug, removed the carb and tank, and tipped it on its side and was suprised how much water you can pour out of a 200cc engine. New oil, new gas, clean carb and reassemble. Tried all electronic stuff to find it all survived. Hit the key and herd a high pitch sound (assumed was starter) I give it gas and it started but threw a chunk of head gasket into the car door.

 

Only ATV mishap I've ever had left me with a broken collar bone for 5 months. I took a curve on a dirt road little too fast and hit the ditch that just happened to have been cleaned out by a road grader. In an instant, I flew over not just my handle bars but my windshield somehow doing a half-turn so I landed on my back, then all of a sudden my Bayou 300 landed on top of me. What saved me from it crushing me was the ditch being just dug out it made a sort of V shape and I was in the bottom so I was able to wiggle out. When I got stood up I tried to push it back over and that's when I felt the pain in my shoulder (which at the time I thought I had seperated it) so I had to walk about a mile before a guy I knew just happened by. It was the first of August and middle of the afternoon and was over 100 degrees, so that walking was rather taxing with my motorcross boots and knowing I was hurt. Was wearing a helmet too. After that I got a chest protector (which I still have though I think it's a size small for me now but I still put it on when riding). This was back in 89.

 

Me and a friend went for a trail ride and both of us were on reserve not realizing it. We both ran out of gas at almost the same time.
it was a 7 mile nature walk before we seen someone and got a ride.