Need some buyagra?
Feb 19, 2003 | 03:15 PM
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Need some buyagra?
New Meds Out Especially for Women
1. Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
2. Damitol: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
3. Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
4. Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
5. Dumerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ causing enjoyment of country western music.
6. Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
7. Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person? &Can we get naked now?"
8. St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
9. Extra Strength Buy-One-All: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
10. JackAsspirin: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
11. Antitalksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
12. Sexcedrin: More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
13. Ragamat: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
1. Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
2. Damitol: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
3. Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
4. Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
5. Dumerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ causing enjoyment of country western music.
6. Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
7. Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person? &Can we get naked now?"
8. St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
9. Extra Strength Buy-One-All: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
10. JackAsspirin: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
11. Antitalksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
12. Sexcedrin: More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
13. Ragamat: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
