A little boy and a little girl, on a beach, are arguing.
Little boy says to the little girl, "I have a nintendo!"
Little girl says, "Oh yeah, well I have a Sega and a nintendo!"
Little boy says, "So, my dad's a doctor!"
Little girls says, "My dad's an astronaurt!"
Back and forth they went, each one trying to outdo the other
until finally the little boy pulls down his shorts and
proclaims, "But I have on of these!!!!" and shows the little
girl his *****. The little girl, not being able to retaliate,
gets up and goes home.
The next day, the little girl spots the little boy and proudly
announces, "My mom said that with one of these (pointing to
her's) I can get as many of those as I want!!!!!!

 

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

 

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Men will screw anything!

 

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

 

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.

Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, had another drink, then turned to face the locals. "WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

No one answered.

"ALL RIGHT I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA DRINK, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

He had his drink, walked outside, and his horse had been returned. He saddled-up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the saloon and called to him, "Say partner, before you go... what DID happen in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

 

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus.
She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."

 

WTF are you up to over there Duckmen. Sheesh. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
What you tryin to outpost Dinger or sompin?

 

yeah sumpin like that....... AWWWWW time for some stress relief.. i can kick back and rest now. my mission is complete. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

 

ha du noen få øl i dag??

 

Man duckmen you been layin down some mad posts thruought the day. you bored or sompin?