Speaking of Oregon, The economy has really picked up in the last 4 months. I'm right in the middle of the Willamette Valley and my day job is working with small to mid-size businesses in office equipment. For some reason, a lot of small and mid size businesses have decided that they have some capital to spend. Thats a nice concept when you consider we were in survival mode 8 months ago, and layoffs about 12 months ago. If they are buying desks and furnture, they will need to have people sitting in them - most of the time its new people - thats a good thing!

Coolest Cities to Live In Oregon - My Choices...

1) Bend or Sisters. A little ways from sand - 3 hours, but out of the valley winter dizzle.
2) Portland. I lived there for years - Nice - its the north end of the valley and not too bad on the winter drizzle - close to Sand Lake
3) Albany. Winter drizzle - but - we ride to the dunes to get out of it. Close to all the dunes - 2 hours north or south. Blue Collar town.
4) Eugene. Winter drizzle - Only 1.5 hours away from Florence. One of the larger towns in Oregon. Liberal and political
5) Corvallis. Winter drizzle - 2 hours north or south of the dunes. Conservative and very political


Those would be my top choices.

 

You only get out of life what you put into it.....

Changing geographical locations isnt going to make it better. Your in a RUTT!!! We all get that way ... But you have to be willing to WORK for your future. You and your wife are young,and reallity can be very sobering at times. The stress of "LIFE" can hit you pretty hard when you hit 29/30 years old. You start wandering shouldnt I be farther along in life than where I am??? I thought I would be happier and more "comfortable" by now??? Thruth is TIME FLYS!!!!!!! one day you are 25yrd old then the next thing you know you are 30, STILL doing the exact same thing you were doing when you were 25! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img][img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif[/img]


You have to decide what you want for your family, and then be very honest about how you can make that happen. Think about the 5 people in your area that you wish you could be were they are?? I bet they OWN their own business, or have Masters degree's?? Or both! What ever they do, you can bet they worked they but off to get thier,and took BIG CHANCES,and made sacrifices to get where they are. They put years into their trade,and now they can start enjoying what they have worked so hard for. HOPEFULLY.

Our generation is so impatient! We want maximium results with the least amount of effort. But the reality is its take maximium effort, to see the maximium results. Dont let yourself get to freaked out, take a couple of days and THINK,and talk to your wife, you WILL need her help,and both of you will need eachother to rise a child. You have been giving the ultimate reason to be a better man.... You are going to have a child soon,and then your perspective will totally change. Their are so many trivial things in life we get stressed over, but when you can look at your wife & kids and see that they are happy, thats when YOU will be truly happy.





Bigger.

 

good post bigger.

The truth is the people in this area that have it best are the farmers & their kids I went to school with. Well off & everything handed to them.
Do you realize the government paid more in farm welfare in 2000 than in regular welfare!!!!!! My grandparents were farmers. It's amazing the breaks they get. My dad ruined all that though, but that's another story.

Sometimes I see these other places (Oregon bridges on History channel). It's like wow look at that!!!! Those people are lucky! Then I just see flat boring land & corn & wheat. I guess I'm tired of it. I need to go to school for a "career". You know here is what I do take it or leave it. Then I could go wherever they hire that position. My job now is easy & stress free, but horribly unfulfilling.

Then I think what if I cut my ties and leave & it doesn't work out? Then what will I do? Sometimes I want to just be alone, then I think what if I end up a lonely old man???
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif[/img]

 

01ds650,I dont know what to say to help.It does sound like you need a vaca
If i was you, i would take a week off work, and go and take a break. Doing your
favorite past time.Hope it gets better.

 

I just had 5 days off!
Then I end up working outside of work!!![img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif[/img]

It's not a vacation. It's just me. I'm in a funk.

 

Well good luck anyways.

 

Personaly, I believe from some of your posts in this thread, you are useing the wrong people for a sounding board. The person you need to be expressing these things to, aparantly doesn't read this board or you'd be in a bit O trouble I'd think. I believe you'll have a little more success in figureing out what to do by talking to her. jmo. Hope it all works out.

 

having just done the divorce thing, i have to say it isn't all it cracked up to be. you will find even if you don't think you talk when there gone, you'll be man i guess we did talk. and if you have kids there you will find your breaking point! i got lucky mine call me to come get them even on her days. so i see them everyday. but imagine if you didn't, those bridges are neat, i grew up around two or three of them, but they seem to fade, and the joy of them passes, i go by one that sits out in a lake as i go to the dunes, and i have to be honest it doesn't bring the joy it did when i was a kid. sounds like you need to take that wife of yours on a picnic and tell her you love her, they usually will do about anything you want if you spoil them a little. usually we all hate our job from time to time, so the problem usually is closer to home, and that usually means the women, the good news is be nice to them when you don't feel like it and they will come around. i paid a shrink to figure that out. plus the feeling of missed loved one from thousands of miles away is tuff the military tought me that, so in all honesty spend time at home making the misses feel special and things should get better for you, heck the guys in alaska make it through the winter there and there is a lot of natural bueaty but they can't see it in the winter. well good luck if that doesn't work for you come on out to oregon it's a great place to live.

 

I just moved to southern Oregon (Medford area) from Raleigh NC and its the best move I could have made. The weather down here is great 30-45min from CA border so we dont get the rain and crap (94 today) the jobs are on a strong upswing and there are unbeleavable places to ride local and the dunes are an easy drive. One of the greatest things I have found compaired to most big places there are great hotrod shops , bike/atv shops and even a few good gun shops.

 

Ok more 2 cents for me. A move can be a very good thing, it just depends on if you are running away from something, realize what you are running away from, and also running into. Sometimes it’s good to cut and run - Unfortunately for some, like Custer, they learn it a little too late.

Regarding family and moving; Give it all you got for the family - not just the wife, and not just you; find the balance that everyone is looking for in a relationship. If the move is based on financial to help the family, and she does not work, she'll have very little argument. Most women are stuck on security - too stuck! They will pretty much agree to anything if it makes the family stronger. But, anything that hints of insecurity, even financial, will trigger a switch in the other direction. They tend to go into safe mode. Be careful of that - You don’t want to come off looking like the problem for the family, even though you are not.

I've been through the divorce thing too. But before my divorce, when I got laid off about 10 years ago, I was offered a job in Ohio. I took a local job instead and I took a pay cut and stayed close where her family was. Looking back, that was probably a wrong move. The hardship of the move would have brought us together. She would have become more reliant on the family instead of her family - and thus contributed accordingly. Instead, she never really left home, and this to this day, is only 2 miles away from her parents, unmarried, and living in her former grandparent's home.

It’s different for everyone, everytime. - And I doubt anything that I can say will apply to anyone in general with the exception of one thing. Try to make it work for everyone, again, not just the wife, not just you and not just the kids. When you give up everything for one person, you are not doing anybody a favor. Diversity is a good thing, when everyone contributes in their own way – especially in a family.

By the way, duning is one of the coolest family activities around. Its taken a while for my best friend's wife to understand that, but it was incredible to see the change last weekend when we all went on the dunes, along with his entire family.