OT .. Anyone have any good jokes
#1
Twelve Inch Pianist
This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.
“Hey, what's that?”
“A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”
“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.
“Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”
“Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?”
This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.
“Hey, what's that?”
“A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”
“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.
“Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”
“Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?”
#3
Someone emailed this to me once. its a good laugh
I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only
>about 5
>minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a
>parking
>ticket. So, I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about
>giving a
>guy a break?"
>
>He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a
>pencil-necked ****. He glared at me and started writing another
>ticket for
>worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse s**t. He finished the
>second
>ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
>
>Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20
>minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
>
>I didn't care.
>
>My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun
>each day.
>It's important.
#4
Heres a good link to an awesome video. It's hillarious!
http://webhome.idirect.com/~cmarion/...uble_A_130.mpg
#5
Originally posted by: Foxracin
LOL... Heres one... Hondas Are Fast[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
LOL... Heres one... Hondas Are Fast[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
Keep it clean
#6
Another one for ya.
> A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a
> drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets
> up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one
> in
> the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in
>
> the hallway buck naked. Man, she is a fine looking woman!"
>
> The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused,
> because he is one bad biker, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
>
> The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your
> grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
>
> The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still
> says nothing.
>
> The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you
> something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
>
> At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and
> says,
>
> "Grandpa, you're drunk....... Go home!"
#7
There was a city cop, on his horse, waiting to cross the street when a
little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little boy said, "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the boy a $20 ticket for a safety
violation.
The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back
of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said,
"Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the
dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little boy said, "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the boy a $20 ticket for a safety
violation.
The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back
of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said,
"Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the
dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
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#8
two lawyers took a short cut through the edge of the woods when suddely a bear appeared as the bear raised up on its hind legs growling the first lawyer froze . when the bear started growling and stuff the second lawyer sat down on a log and opened his briefcase and pulled out a pair of sneakers and began to put them on. the first lawyer seeing this began to laugh and said MAN I KNOW U DONT THINK U GONNA OUT RUN THAT BEAR !!!! the second lawyer finished tying his sneaker looked at the first and said nope . I JUST GOTTA OUTRUN YOU .....................................LOL
#9
>>Subject: My New Car Radio
>>
>>I got a new car radio yesterday. It has voice recognition.
>>
>>You shout "soul" ....and it searches for a soul station and starts
>>playing soul music.
>>
>>You shout "rock" and it plays rock and roll. You shout "country" and
>>it finds country music.
>>
>>Some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last
>>second. I yelled out
>>
>>"F***ing kids".
>>
>>Now... my radio is playing Michael Jackson
>>
>>I got a new car radio yesterday. It has voice recognition.
>>
>>You shout "soul" ....and it searches for a soul station and starts
>>playing soul music.
>>
>>You shout "rock" and it plays rock and roll. You shout "country" and
>>it finds country music.
>>
>>Some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last
>>second. I yelled out
>>
>>"F***ing kids".
>>
>>Now... my radio is playing Michael Jackson


