my pup ate rocks...I felt bad when I had to bust out the mineral oil...poor guy shouldnt of swallowed such a big one. Check 'em out in my gallery, by far is he the cutest thing ever [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

 

why do you have to chain up your dog?

 

Yours could have very well ate a frog too. I would have never believed it....but I watched him run across the yard and eat the frog. This dog digs holes in the yard for no reason.....and has bit me twice as I was playing with him. Every time he hears the national anthem, he howls the entire song....thats the only song he howls too! Tell him too clean his feet and he runs too the creek too clean them.

 

I've got an English Bull terrier with similar issue. He seems to slip in and out of...well...we'll call it sane behavior. once in a while he'll start chewing his dog bowl...which is stainless steel. looks like someones been beating it with a ball pin hammer. he also has a drawer with personal items in it. once in awhile he feels the need to rumage through it til he finds his (chain) choker. he'll throw it around for a while..then sit down and.... chew it.

When my wife has quests (women) he'll wait til we're busy and sneek off and find their overnight bag and grab panties and bra's and shoe's...he doesn't chew these...he'll just take them in his crate and sleep with them. this poses the occasional problem for us with new quests, because they don't suspect the dog at first. One girl admitted she was afraid to address it with my wife because she thought i was a total freak. lol

if he can't find any of his favorite above mentioned items...he'll grab their make-up bag. tear it open and eat the real toxic stuff. one night we found him hiding in a corner. face covered in makeup. he's an all white dog and had been chewing on a mascara bottle and got the brush out. it left black lines on both sides of his mouth that resembled a big smile. with the rest of the make up...he ended up looking like the Joker.

he loves to smoke...he'll sit next to people with cigarettes, pot, and especialy cigars...to lick the smoke in the air. then he goes to his bed til they light up again.

he has a real fixation with people...he's never...ever... bit anyone. not even growled or even run away from my nieces and nephews when they torture him. But he hates other animals and most machines...no exceptions. dogs,cats, bugs, you name it.

We lock him up when i cut the yard. when we first moved in our house. my neighbors were introducing themselves to my wife with their 3 year old girl. i was about 30ft away using the weed wacker. as she was explaing how we owned a pit bull..."but He is really the nicest dog you've ever met". he crashes through the glass storm door and rushes me...grabbing the weed wacker and running off with it.... while violently shacking it. They left with their little girl balling her eyes out...we've lived there for over 7 years now and have never had a visit since. lol

he is the best dog i have ever had the pleasure of owning and is 11years now and has never had a medical problem ever. 2 scoops of dry food and thats it. never begs for food and hates to go out. his favorite past time is sleeping behind the wood stove, til he can't stand it...comes out and drinks his whole bowl of water...and goes back to the stove. when he mis behaves...i'll open the stove and tell him to get in. he drops low and begins to shacks uncontrolably...staring at my wife for help. lol

there are some many strange kwerks about this dog i could go on and on. but what strikes me as the strangest is...he's completely nocternal. he sleeps from 5am too 5pm (allday). he doesn't want to go out to dump until 10pm. when we go to bed...you can hear him walking around the house playing with his toys until 5am-6am. as soon as i get up for work. he goes to bed. when he is up...he avoids light and retreats to the darkest parts of the house...even if it means hiding in a closet to relax.

we think he's a candidate for prozak (he's in my pics)

 

Great post...LMAO!

 

i added a couple more tid bits

 

I parked too close to where my dog was chained once. The little sh!! tore my bumper cover off. From then on, I painted a line on his limits so I knew where I could park safely. He got into a lot of stuff over the years, but that by far was the funniest.

 

My dog is a few cans short of a six pack too. Her name is Jesse, she is an english mastiff and she is HUGE. She is about 2 feet tall at her back and weighs about 175lb. She seems like a big scary beast but she is the biggest scaredy-cat of a dog you will ever see. whenever i feed her she will be standing there next to the can of dog food and as soon as i take the lid off she darts off like if the lid was gonna kill her!! she is deathly afraid of that lid. One time my aunt brought her yorkshire terrier (toto from the wizard of oz) over and he is tiny compared to my dog. this little rat looking dog went up to my dog to sniff her and she was scared sh!tless of him. she took of yelping like she was hurt or something. If you howl at her for about a minute she will start howling back at you, it is so funny, it sounds like she is crying. sometimes you don't even have to howl at her, all you have to do is stare at her and she will start going crazy and howling!! I think my dog is a re-incarnated skitzo (don't know how to spell that) or something. I heard that this breed of dogs, english mastiffs, were bread to kill lions and if thats true my dog would be the biggest faliure of them all. She can't even handle a little toto dog!!!

 

I think my dog could rank as one of the stupidist dogs of all time. He has to be the most hyper dog you will ever see also. You should see when i let him out of his pen, he goes bizerk and doesnt know which way to run so he gets confused and runs in circles as fast as he can for a few minutes and then runs straight to the ditch and jumps in straight through the thick mat of moss and everything. He then jumps out covered in moss looking like a green blob and he insistenly shakes off as close to me as he can everytime. He always has to be right next to you, literally on top of you foot when you r standing there and if you move he will fall over. It used to be funny when he was little because he wasnt able to stop, he would be running full speed at something he would get about 2 feet from it and decide to stop, he would lock up his feet and always slam right into what ever was in front of him. I dont know how many times he did this. He was also hit by a car so now when he has somthing in his mouth he makes a loud snorting noise when he walks and he sounds just like a pig. He also somehow ends up with beer cans all the time and likes chewing on them even though they cut up his mouth, he just likes anyhting that makes noise. It is also very, and i mean very rare to see him sitting still or laying down, and if he does lay down any sudden movement of any sort sets him off into running in circles
He always gets beat up by our cat everyday because he thinks that she is playing with him, he just doesnt get it. He would be the dog of the neighborhood that all the other dogs make fun of if we could understand what they are saying. He also has the dumbest bark ever it is really deep and it seems like it takes alot out of him to even bark. He sounds like one of those 30 year old dogs but yet he is only 2, it goes sort of like this, wooooooooooooooooofffffffffffffffffff. And sometimes its funny because he tryes to bark but he cant so its sort of sounds like a ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. But anyways I have alot more stupid stories of him but dont feel like typing them all out.

Here is a picture of him ('raptor' probalby doesnt deserve that name, maybe something like 400ex would be better!) trying to take a crap and not drop the his stick. Thats about the only picture i have of him. raptor

 

I miss my golden retriever Kobe. He died last August and I still haven't got over it. He was only 2 years old when he died, but we had so much fun together in those 2 years. I don't think he was as dumb as some of the dogs I've read about here, but he was kind of dumb in his own way. He was really smart too. He knew how to open doors, gates, turn on light switches, open cabinets. He was a really great dog. He used to love to swim and play catch. When ever I'd turn the waterhose on to water the garden, I think he thought he was at a water park or something cuz he went wild. I would always end up getting more water on him than on the garden.


I think the funniest that ever happened to him was when he was about 7 months old. He must have swallowed two bee's or the same one stung him twice. Anyway, he was stung on his inner cheek on both sides and he got really swollen up. He looked funny as heck. SO funny I just had to grab the camera. I'll post the pictures soon.

Dogs are so great. I've had dogs my whole life, and for some reason my life just doesn't seem complete without one. Don't take your dogs for granted people. No matter if your poor, rich, ugly, beautiful, smart, stupid, whatever, your dog will always love you no matter what.

Incase your wondering, my Kobe died of seizures. They were totally unexpected. I was at work when the one that killed him struck him. Luckily for me my neighbor saw him and called me at work immediately. When I got home he was still alive, but still seizing. I did what the vet told me to and let it pass before I picked him up, but it wouldn't stop. I sat next to him, until he couldn't hold on any longer. It seemed like he waited for me to get home before he died. I'm just glad I got to talk to him one last time.