Alright, I stole these off another site, and they are really a dig into another builder. But I thought they were funny. Howmany people do you know that are like this, or are you someone like this?...........





So here they are......The official Klown Race Rules:


Don't ask how I got it but it's real, the official Klown handbook on ATV racing.

1)Never admit to a loss.

2)After a trip to the dunes proclaim on the Internet as being the fastest 4 or 5 there. Even if your not.

3)When calling someone out change the rules after they arrive to race.

4)Always down play your bike.

5)Never go to a race without speeddmn or some other qualified jockey.

6)Never admit you have an advantage at Olds.

7)If beat at the hill or races beg, bribe or do whatever necessary to convince your opponent not to say anything on the net.

8)If you can’t beat someone keep racing and roll your starts till he messes up and you get a victory, then you can claim you traded wins.

9)If you see someone just getting to the hill practicing starts or tuning, sneak up on him and go on by. You can later call this a win if you can’t beat him when he’s ready to race. This also counts as trading wins.



Definitions

1)Traded wins- Won at least one race in a hundred
2)Dune bike- Anything we race/ride
3)Drag bike- Anything the opponent races/rides
4)Half hill- Any win for us no matter what the margin
5)Equal weight- When our rider is lighter

 

lol, THATS HILARIOUS!!!


Ive heard some of those at least a few times on other sites but never the handbook..

#8 and 9 are funny. And def. #1 cracks me up.


Hey Jed, Get ready to ride my DUNE bike this weekend.

 

Those actually plss me off.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif[/img] I know too many people who play by those same rules...............

Nice find Jed...........'bout sums it up[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

 

lol

Same guys that measure their . . . unit. . . and every centimeter is an inch.

 

Ron, The only reason why they **** you off is because you have gone by those rules in racing all your life.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]


These rules actually are from one State to another. .... an on-going battle I think..

 

Not true[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] I will give people like that a head start on hill racing and lose rather than spin things to make it look like I won when I didn't. If anything i will spin that I did worse than I did just to let the other guy praise my bike's performance.

Mario, you picked the wrong guy to compare to these rules...............you will have evidence of that soon enough[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

On a lighter note, I realize you were kidding[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img] I just hope no one at DS days engages in this sort of cr@ppy behavior[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]!

 

Mario, you mean to tell me your bringing that stage 2.9 dune bike to race? Well, I guess we'll have to do our best with what we got! Are we still running the 20" six paddle gliders?


Ron, there used to be a couple guys that go up to St anns, that would not stop before a race. They always roll started us. It got so annoying, I would leave before they even got to me,lol. Just to throw sand on them!

Are all you Oreganners still going to St Anns for the 4th?

 

We leave oregon the 22nd of June. I have a critical house completion the next week so I will be returning to Oregon on the 26th. YFZfryguy won't be coming back until the 29th. Then we head over to Florence on the 30th. We will be at Driftwood through the 4th[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

I am glad to hear you guys are bringing your dune bikes to DS days. Mine is a duner with front brakes and everything[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]. My 105.5 bore with a 20 shot should be close to a match for those fast stock bores with a 30 shot...........I hope[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

 

Well if thats the case, you better plan on us coming up on the 23rd for the night. That will be the first time out for my machine since the burndown.

I will have my wifes machine at Ds days. But I was talking about this weekend in Pismo. You know, that little stage 2.9 of Mario's, with 6 paddle gliders. (Check rule number 4) We'll give'em he!! lol!

Ya, if your running a 25 shot with your 730, its should be a good race. I just need to get mine down to your guys weight so I might have a chance. Heck, you'll have your first shot at them up at St Anns. I have yet to get it over to choke, so I have no Idea about setup, or how it will do. But it will be fun.

 

Ahh.......... My bad![img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif[/img]

How far is the drive to St. A's for you? It would be great to see you if you could come. I will be running all motor at St. A's in a couple weeks but I still expect to pull 4th on Choke. I am going to run 16/43 with 25" Extremes with my +6.

Unfortunately we are staying the night of the 23rd at the sand hills resort. We should be able to get a place at BLM for the next night.

I hate the ride from Sand Hills to Thunder Mountain.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif[/img]