All hail the Street Kings.

You know, I took a look at this kids profile thing and tried to email the one that was listed. All I got was a message saying the user didnt exist.

What happened to these elusive Street Kings?

 

What happened to the Street Kings? Are you a non-believer? If the leader of the Street Kings were divulged to the general public, then the delicate balance of the earth, as we know it could be thrown off, causing earthquakes, floods, and snow in July. Some things are just better left alone. Must you wait in the living room on Christmas Eve to personally speak to Santa Clause, or do you just believe? Do you chase the Easter Bunny when he brings your eggs? Must you go to Florida to believe in Flipper? What if the Riddler knew that Bruce Wayne was Batman? Would he ever be able to sleep (with Robin)? What if Lex Luther had known the true identity of Superman? He would have mailed Clark some kryptonite and killed him dead and wreaked havoc and destruction all over the world.
I will ask one final question. Do you have God's E-Mail address? I believe that some things need not be questioned. I am just glad knowing that out there....... Somewhere........ There is a founding father who's vision was as clear as the nose on your face and embarked on a thankless journey to found one of the cornerstones of our way of ATVing life..

LONG LIVE THE STREET KINGS!!!!!

 

haha! everyone knows who superman was. Dean Cain. Der!

 

i just got my notice, i'm the newest member of the street kings.

it seems i beat out a huge fields of contenders that included ben affleck, among other celebrities.

i now know how it feels to win the heisman or something akin to that.





-heywood-

 

...and i thought i had sent my best resume in to those guys too. sucks that i didnt make the cut. congrats on your induction to such an elite group, Heywood.

 

What else is important to know about candidates for our "club"?


OFFICIAL APPLICATION
OF
AMERICAN STREET KING AND PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZED STREET ELITE RIDERS
(ASKAPOSER)

1.RU A WHEELIER?
2.RU A STOPPIER?
3.RU A GOOD JUMPER?
4. WHAT IS YUR FAVORITE CRAZY STREET STUNT?
5. CAN YOU BE AT PRACTICE RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL?
6. NERF BARS ON A STREET WHEELER ARE FOR..
A. FIRE HYDRANTS
B. DOGS
C. BECAUSE WE ALL LIKE SAYING “NERF”
7. A BLASTER WITH A BIG-BORE KIT IS..
A. 212CC
B. 450EXCC
C. 727CC
8. MIKUNI JETS ARE..
A. JAPANESE AIRPLANES
B. CARB THINGYS
C. THE NAME OF THE MIKUNI INDIANA HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM
9. CHROME 22’S ARE
A. 22 INCHES AROUND
B. 22 INCHES WIDE
C. SWEET
10. ATV MEANS “ASPHALT TYPE VEHICLE
A. TRUE
B. FALSE
11. ESSAY QUESTION- WHY IS SPELLING IMPORTANT TO THE STREET KINGS?

 

God Spelling and God grammer iz awlmost az emportunt az God jummping skillz

 

This is one of the funniest things I have read on this site. It makes me want to be a street king poop stomper. well almost.

 

Hear ye, hear ye, all Street King® applicants.

As one of the (now 4) authorized "Federated Association of Godjumpers" (F.A.G's) that are allowed to speak to the populace about issues pertaining to the Street Kings ®, I am officially declaring the application submission time period as being closed.

We have had several intelligence leaks pertaining to the Street Kings®, and have executed several of our Royal Staff. The daily floggings, and random executions of the newest cadre of members shall continue until the outward flow of fact and rumor alike have ceased.

We will be looking to replenish a few of the recently vacated positions. However, after a preliminary examination of the current applicants submisssions...I am in serious doubt as to whether or not the Illuminati will choose any of you slovenly landlubbers to be admitted into the sacred ranks.

*************

NOTICE

All current Street Kings® are hereby officially banned (at the direction of the Illuminati, as well as the Stone Cutter League) from speaking in public at all on any and all matters pertaining to Street King® application, acceptance, membership, or activities. Under penalty of being drawn and quartered, witnessed by your entire family, by the 4 albino midget wrestlers hiding in my closet.

*************

--Written under direction of the Illuminati, the Stone Cutters, as well as the other 3 pillars (NEVER to be named or spoken of aloud) of leadership that make up the sacred "Ring of Eight" of the Street Kings® hierarchy--

Signed,

13-9-11-5

 

Hooterville

Your application has been rejected by the Ring of Eight for the folling reason:

On line item 3, you spelled "God" wrong.

There are many "good jumpers"...We need "God jumpers". An entirely different dimension of jumping.

Only the Gods can tell when when you have reached this level of goodness.

You may not submit another application until Jupiter and Saturn align properly with the moons of Uranus....Or when the Cubs win the series, which ever happens first.

There will be a new application posted here in the coming days, open to all previous applicants as well as new ones.

It will however, be the last chance to be selected into our ranks until the next time the Ring of Eight rises from the depths of seclusion, bellows with its mighty voice over all the land, smites all that shall oppose its ranks, and declares the new "Age of the Quad".

So let it be written...So let it be done...Under penalty of our royal displeasure.

13-9-11-5