Can I walk drunk? Why hell yes I can.

I can also sing better (and louder), I can whisper much better when I'm drunk. Women LOVE me when I'm drunk, but I think that's because I can dance so much better when I'm drunk. I can't tell you how much funnier I am when I'm drunk. I'm always the life of the party. Women love me and men fear me when I'm drunk. And, to top it off, every girl that ever dumped me in high school (and afterward) sits by their phone until 2 or 3 in the morning waiting for me to call.

oh yeah, if not for the booze, I wouldn't be half the man I am today.



-Heywood-