Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
#51
05-31-2005, 01:07 AM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
Originally posted by: WyoBullRydr
My dad was 6'2" and 260 when I was in HS. I got smart with him one time in a restaraunt and found myself under a table with a rapidly swelling right side of my head. He wacked me a good one when he asked where I had gotten three dollars that I had in my hand, the last thing I remember was saying, "Out of my pocket." My family as a whole has never been afraid to give an @$$whoopin. My sister didn't get as many cause she's a girl and now she is a felon with active warrants and a meth head. My brother and me turned out allright and I believe it's cause my parents wanted to assist us boys with our pain thresholds. My kids and my neices and nephews are all well behaved. cause they know, step out of line and get that @$$ whipped. As kids, our "Time out" was the time it took dad or mom to grab the belt and get the buckle off before the screaming and running around in a circle commenced.
Originally posted by: Gopher500
geez... you guys spank your kids in the butt????? that would have been better...i got hit in the side of the head... once in a while "accidentaly" with a shovel (might explain alot)its pretty sad to see how some kids in my school are... i'd NEVER swear to my parents, or around... well i go over their house and thats all they do. id be terrified to... my dad would kick the **** outta me... thats before id have to go through with my mom...reminds me of a story... there were some kids in our neighborhood that were stealing things from everyone...cops couldnt find em. well they came to our farm, and started stealing stuff, such as tractor keys, and some of my other junk. well my dad caught em...the 2 of em tried to fight him...hopeless failure. well my parents brought both into the office, locked the door, and called the cops... after they came out of that office they looked scared sh!tless...or my sisters friend... he ran and hid in the car when my dad yelled at me...seemed normal to me, he thought my dad was gonna grab the gun... parents are way too soft in my area...
geez... you guys spank your kids in the butt????? that would have been better...i got hit in the side of the head... once in a while "accidentaly" with a shovel (might explain alot)its pretty sad to see how some kids in my school are... i'd NEVER swear to my parents, or around... well i go over their house and thats all they do. id be terrified to... my dad would kick the **** outta me... thats before id have to go through with my mom...reminds me of a story... there were some kids in our neighborhood that were stealing things from everyone...cops couldnt find em. well they came to our farm, and started stealing stuff, such as tractor keys, and some of my other junk. well my dad caught em...the 2 of em tried to fight him...hopeless failure. well my parents brought both into the office, locked the door, and called the cops... after they came out of that office they looked scared sh!tless...or my sisters friend... he ran and hid in the car when my dad yelled at me...seemed normal to me, he thought my dad was gonna grab the gun... parents are way too soft in my area...
#52
05-31-2005, 12:56 PM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
there does need to be a balance...
i know that sounds strange from a 17yr old. my parents are strict and lenient at the same time. they dont care at all if i come home at 11:30 on a school night, as long as im not late the next morning. if im late, then im screwed and i get chewed up pretty bad.
but just friday, i was sitting in the barn with my dad, my friend and my friends dad. well my friend didnt have much discipline, and is semi spoiled. but i guess during the week, my friend was playing his xbox and his dad needed his help. well my friend yelled at his dad, and his dad hit him across the head cause he had enough. well on friday, my friends dad was telling the story, and friend made the comment "your lucky i didnt do anything back"... if i said that to my dad id be hiding under the table fast. just didnt seem right for a kid to say that to his dad, especially when his dad outweighed him by 100lbs.
i know that sounds strange from a 17yr old. my parents are strict and lenient at the same time. they dont care at all if i come home at 11:30 on a school night, as long as im not late the next morning. if im late, then im screwed and i get chewed up pretty bad.
but just friday, i was sitting in the barn with my dad, my friend and my friends dad. well my friend didnt have much discipline, and is semi spoiled. but i guess during the week, my friend was playing his xbox and his dad needed his help. well my friend yelled at his dad, and his dad hit him across the head cause he had enough. well on friday, my friends dad was telling the story, and friend made the comment "your lucky i didnt do anything back"... if i said that to my dad id be hiding under the table fast. just didnt seem right for a kid to say that to his dad, especially when his dad outweighed him by 100lbs.
#53
05-31-2005, 06:49 PM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
Originally posted by: Gopher500
there does need to be a balance...
i know that sounds strange from a 17yr old. my parents are strict and lenient at the same time. they dont care at all if i come home at 11:30 on a school night, as long as im not late the next morning. if im late, then im screwed and i get chewed up pretty bad.
but just friday, i was sitting in the barn with my dad, my friend and my friends dad. well my friend didnt have much discipline, and is semi spoiled. but i guess during the week, my friend was playing his xbox and his dad needed his help. well my friend yelled at his dad, and his dad hit him across the head cause he had enough. well on friday, my friends dad was telling the story, and friend made the comment "your lucky i didnt do anything back"... if i said that to my dad id be hiding under the table fast. just didnt seem right for a kid to say that to his dad, especially when his dad outweighed him by 100lbs.
there does need to be a balance...
i know that sounds strange from a 17yr old. my parents are strict and lenient at the same time. they dont care at all if i come home at 11:30 on a school night, as long as im not late the next morning. if im late, then im screwed and i get chewed up pretty bad.
but just friday, i was sitting in the barn with my dad, my friend and my friends dad. well my friend didnt have much discipline, and is semi spoiled. but i guess during the week, my friend was playing his xbox and his dad needed his help. well my friend yelled at his dad, and his dad hit him across the head cause he had enough. well on friday, my friends dad was telling the story, and friend made the comment "your lucky i didnt do anything back"... if i said that to my dad id be hiding under the table fast. just didnt seem right for a kid to say that to his dad, especially when his dad outweighed him by 100lbs.
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
#54
06-01-2005, 01:25 AM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
i think the only thing you have to remember is there are kids that get too diciplined and get rebellious still and find ways to avoid their parents. especaily when they can drive. you try and control a kid too much and he/ she will go the other way. i believe you kinda have to find a balance between spanking and patience or punishment and care. anyone agree?
Lets also not forget that dicipline and abuse are very different things, and more than one kid was controlled by little more than a look from his father, and learned his boundries same as another who may have felt that belt etc.
Being that its honestly not easy to be either a parent or a child etc today I dont think you can simply classify one idea or method that would be great for everyone, and even the balance or moderate idea has its flaws (middle ground may be safe, but its not for everyone either) and what works for you and your dad or son etc may be useless to someone else.
You do bring up good valid points though, and basically what I got from your post is that it would be best to find an understanding of what the parent needs to instill to their children and how each individual child responds to this "learning process" to create this balance, but lets remember that it is the parents responsibility to raise their children, and right or wrong in their thinking or methods they need to be allowed to do their job, and hopefully more will be able to find the balance than not, but you cant force them to create a balance based on the ideas of their children alone as its not the childs job to raise their parents.
That may be a little confusing (it was to me when I first wrote it lol) but basically the parent cant change from being a parent to being a peer of their child to reach that balance because then their not a parent at all.
#55
06-01-2005, 01:19 PM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
Originally posted by: 440EX026
Balance, moderation, middle of the road or whatever anyone would like to call it is very different things to different people.
Lets also not forget that dicipline and abuse are very different things, and more than one kid was controlled by little more than a look from his father, and learned his boundries same as another who may have felt that belt etc.
Being that its honestly not easy to be either a parent or a child etc today I dont think you can simply classify one idea or method that would be great for everyone, and even the balance or moderate idea has its flaws (middle ground may be safe, but its not for everyone either) and what works for you and your dad or son etc may be useless to someone else.
You do bring up good valid points though, and basically what I got from your post is that it would be best to find an understanding of what the parent needs to instill to their children and how each individual child responds to this "learning process" to create this balance, but lets remember that it is the parents responsibility to raise their children, and right or wrong in their thinking or methods they need to be allowed to do their job, and hopefully more will be able to find the balance than not, but you cant force them to create a balance based on the ideas of their children alone as its not the childs job to raise their parents.
That may be a little confusing (it was to me when I first wrote it lol) but basically the parent cant change from being a parent to being a peer of their child to reach that balance because then their not a parent at all.
i think the only thing you have to remember is there are kids that get too diciplined and get rebellious still and find ways to avoid their parents. especaily when they can drive. you try and control a kid too much and he/ she will go the other way. i believe you kinda have to find a balance between spanking and patience or punishment and care. anyone agree?
Lets also not forget that dicipline and abuse are very different things, and more than one kid was controlled by little more than a look from his father, and learned his boundries same as another who may have felt that belt etc.
Being that its honestly not easy to be either a parent or a child etc today I dont think you can simply classify one idea or method that would be great for everyone, and even the balance or moderate idea has its flaws (middle ground may be safe, but its not for everyone either) and what works for you and your dad or son etc may be useless to someone else.
You do bring up good valid points though, and basically what I got from your post is that it would be best to find an understanding of what the parent needs to instill to their children and how each individual child responds to this "learning process" to create this balance, but lets remember that it is the parents responsibility to raise their children, and right or wrong in their thinking or methods they need to be allowed to do their job, and hopefully more will be able to find the balance than not, but you cant force them to create a balance based on the ideas of their children alone as its not the childs job to raise their parents.
That may be a little confusing (it was to me when I first wrote it lol) but basically the parent cant change from being a parent to being a peer of their child to reach that balance because then their not a parent at all.
funny how this thread started with school shootings and got to parenting.
#57
06-02-2005, 02:59 PM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
[quote]
Originally posted by: strongtyerYFZ
It funny because no matter where you are or live and how much of an intereference you have from your school or govt. etc people are people and everything starts with the family. Like it or not we all are influenced thru our entire lives by the experiences we have while we are growing up and our parents and siblings are the most influential part of this. Sure what we learn in school and what kind of neighborhood we live in also has an effect, but even when those are full of problems or prpoganda that do effect us all we still are most reliant on our experiences from parents or family.
I think your correct in our agreement or understanding of "balance" but there is always going to be a different view of this from the parent who is burdend with the responsibility of supporting and raising their family, and the child who mostly interested in his social position amoung his peers. Its a lot of pressure for everyone and more so today due to all the added external pressures we all face, but to me at least these are no excuse for any parent or child to lose sight of what is right or wrong and go beyond the point where they lose their beliefs, ideals or morals etc.
As an example I refer to my younger brother who due to physical imbalance was a total handfull for my parents. He as many like him (HD, ADD and whatever they call it next) just didnt fall into the norm and therefore was not responding to the same diciplines and rules etc as others. It could be a child with this situation or any of hundreds of others that can cause a real need to look at things differently when considering disipline etc, and sometimes the parent may have certain conditions or issues that may effect things as well (like what may happen when a ADD parent has children with ADD etc) but even as the "balance" may change for each of us there are still limits of what all concerned should be limited to etc.
Another example is how many of our countries leaders including presidents have come from "broken" homes or tough surroundings, and even many great scientists, composers, artists and many others who have had great accomplishments in their lives were not off the normal or typical middle america family. What they all seem to have shared is at least one authority figure who put in a serious effort in raising them, and an inner belief of themselves or a greater being.
I am sure most of us have received the email that shows the starting lives of four different people and asks to pick one to be president, and others to be shot or whatever, and then goes on to show you that you picked Adolf hitler for president and put Winston Churchill, Beetoven, and others with respected accomplishments to death. I never bothered to research all those chosen with poor childhoods, but I get the point and that is we are all individuals and any life has value and potential.
This is getting too long again, but basically as we all as a nation and even a world are slowly stripped of our family, morals and beliefs and are facing additional stresses from economic concerns etc it seems our problems and trajedies amoung our youth are escalating, and no one is applying the brakes.
Originally posted by: strongtyerYFZ
Originally posted by: 440EX026
ok, i think i mostly agree with you there. kinda what i was trying to say about finding a balance is when kids see their parents as in the way because their parents are only getting them in trouble they may be rebellious anyways. just find other ways to make sure their parents dont find out. they may be perfect little angels when they are around their parents but when they are out with friends, who knows. i dont think parents should whip the crap out of their kids for every small thing. i believe each punishment should be in proportion to the wrong doing. if the parents dont do any "bonding" with their kids then it will probably take a whole lot more work for the parents to punishing their children because its harder for the kids to see that the parents do care. i dont know if this is making any sense to anyone...
funny how this thread started with school shootings and got to parenting.
funny how this thread started with school shootings and got to parenting.
I think your correct in our agreement or understanding of "balance" but there is always going to be a different view of this from the parent who is burdend with the responsibility of supporting and raising their family, and the child who mostly interested in his social position amoung his peers. Its a lot of pressure for everyone and more so today due to all the added external pressures we all face, but to me at least these are no excuse for any parent or child to lose sight of what is right or wrong and go beyond the point where they lose their beliefs, ideals or morals etc.
As an example I refer to my younger brother who due to physical imbalance was a total handfull for my parents. He as many like him (HD, ADD and whatever they call it next) just didnt fall into the norm and therefore was not responding to the same diciplines and rules etc as others. It could be a child with this situation or any of hundreds of others that can cause a real need to look at things differently when considering disipline etc, and sometimes the parent may have certain conditions or issues that may effect things as well (like what may happen when a ADD parent has children with ADD etc) but even as the "balance" may change for each of us there are still limits of what all concerned should be limited to etc.
Another example is how many of our countries leaders including presidents have come from "broken" homes or tough surroundings, and even many great scientists, composers, artists and many others who have had great accomplishments in their lives were not off the normal or typical middle america family. What they all seem to have shared is at least one authority figure who put in a serious effort in raising them, and an inner belief of themselves or a greater being.
I am sure most of us have received the email that shows the starting lives of four different people and asks to pick one to be president, and others to be shot or whatever, and then goes on to show you that you picked Adolf hitler for president and put Winston Churchill, Beetoven, and others with respected accomplishments to death. I never bothered to research all those chosen with poor childhoods, but I get the point and that is we are all individuals and any life has value and potential.
This is getting too long again, but basically as we all as a nation and even a world are slowly stripped of our family, morals and beliefs and are facing additional stresses from economic concerns etc it seems our problems and trajedies amoung our youth are escalating, and no one is applying the brakes.
#58
06-02-2005, 03:14 PM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
Have to add a little more [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
Your reference to "bonding" is a good one, and should not be confused with being friends. Not that there is anything wrong with being a friend to your children, and having a good relationship based on respect and love etc, but that this bonding must or should be of a parent and child relationship.
I know a large amount of people personally who are in a real mess because they have allowed their children to become their friend and they are pretty much no longer the parent. I also know some on the other side of this who feel an empty part of their life as they were not properly diciplined and actually missed the love of having what they believe to be a concerned parent.
There are two kids in their teens (one early one late) who are so totally frustrated that their mother is so concerned with their being happy with her that even they know something isnt right and somehow are not happy with having all the control like so many of us always wanted. This woman deserves credit for raising two children solo (and the seven odd pets they have forced her to collect lol) but someware things swayed from the normal parent child relationship and the kids are now starting to see it and are finding somthing is missing.
I dont know what anyone else thinks or feels but I know it seems to me that too little dicipline is as bad long term as too much.
Maybe we need to switch the subject to dealing with the things that are truly our problems and not taking them out on the innocent or ourselves, as possibly there may be found an answer etc.
Your reference to "bonding" is a good one, and should not be confused with being friends. Not that there is anything wrong with being a friend to your children, and having a good relationship based on respect and love etc, but that this bonding must or should be of a parent and child relationship.
I know a large amount of people personally who are in a real mess because they have allowed their children to become their friend and they are pretty much no longer the parent. I also know some on the other side of this who feel an empty part of their life as they were not properly diciplined and actually missed the love of having what they believe to be a concerned parent.
There are two kids in their teens (one early one late) who are so totally frustrated that their mother is so concerned with their being happy with her that even they know something isnt right and somehow are not happy with having all the control like so many of us always wanted. This woman deserves credit for raising two children solo (and the seven odd pets they have forced her to collect lol) but someware things swayed from the normal parent child relationship and the kids are now starting to see it and are finding somthing is missing.
I dont know what anyone else thinks or feels but I know it seems to me that too little dicipline is as bad long term as too much.
Maybe we need to switch the subject to dealing with the things that are truly our problems and not taking them out on the innocent or ourselves, as possibly there may be found an answer etc.
#59
06-03-2005, 01:18 AM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
wow, are you ok there? take a deep breath. trying to get something off your chest? [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img] somethings bottles up in there... lol! jk maybe we should turn this thread into a book... [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img] ok, maybe not but it was a good idea.
i do like reading your opinions tho. it makes me feel good to know that there that has some sense.
i do like reading your opinions tho. it makes me feel good to know that there that has some sense.
#60
06-03-2005, 02:11 AM
Had a guest speaker at my school about shooting at school
Originally posted by: strongtyerYFZ
wow, are you ok there? take a deep breath. trying to get something off your chest? [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img] somethings bottles up in there... lol! jk maybe we should turn this thread into a book... [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img] ok, maybe not but it was a good idea.
i do like reading your opinions tho. it makes me feel good to know that there that has some sense.
wow, are you ok there? take a deep breath. trying to get something off your chest? [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img] somethings bottles up in there... lol! jk maybe we should turn this thread into a book... [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img] ok, maybe not but it was a good idea.
i do like reading your opinions tho. it makes me feel good to know that there that has some sense.
Hey you never know, right.
I guess I just figure that if somehow any of this helps anyone it was worth the effort, and since the subjects like this one seem to be something many are afraid to speak their mind about etc it cant hurt for a "opinionated pain in the ****" to stir things up a little by saying what just doesnt seem to get said etc.