whats dumber than a brunette trying to build a house underwater ?
A blonde trying to burn it down.

 

what does Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common?----They both have boys pants Half off.....



what do you get when you cross a Deer and a Pickle?.........Dill-Doe

 

Long time no see Guyz......

Here is my Joke........

There is a Jet flying from New York to California, about half way across the United States the Pilot noticed
he was low on Jet fuel.

He pages the stewardess to the cockpit and gives her an order to get on the intercom and ask for ( 3 )
volunteers to jump from the aircraft with parachutes provided and will be re-embursed with free airfare for an entire year.

The stewardess gets on the intercome and asks for everyones attention.....

The Captain has asked me to ask for ( 3 ) volunteers to jump from the aircraft with parachutes provided and will be re-embursed with free airfare for an entire year.

The crowd of passangers just look around at each other in dismay ?

The stewardess returns to the cockpit and tells the Captain there were no volunteers.

The Captain then says I will take care of this and flips the "auto pilot" button on and makes his way to the cabin area, gets on the intercom and repeats the request for ( 3 ) volunteers with not one volunteer
he says fine !

We will have to do this in alphabetical order.......

The Pilot then asks all the african americans to raise their hand, one person raises his hand, the pilot says great, now all the black people raise their hands and another person raises his hand, then the pilot asks for all the colored people to raise their hands, at this time a 10 year old boy looks to his father and says
Dad, we are african american, we are black, we are colored people and the Dad snaps back at the boy,
NO SON ! we are n@ggers and we are after the mexicans..........

 

that ones good here are a few more

why was the blondes belly button sore
because her boyfriend was blonde too

what does a screen door and a blonde have in common
the more you bang it the looser it gets

whats the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator
the blonde works in the dark

what does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive
her ankles

 

hehehe

gotta love crude humor[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

 

these are sum funny jokes.keep 'em comin guys kuz i dont kno any of my own, lol. all i kno are racist jokes but i dont wanna offend anyone.

 

yeah that was my only blonde one....rest are racist to......

 

those are some of the only jokes i know rest are racist

 

OH MY GOD! Is that FUNNY!!! Love it!!!

 

Kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem." She says "Tell me".
He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are. He says "well, p u ssy and biitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, p u ssy is a cat like our little Mittens, and biitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him...p u ssy and biitch. Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is p u ssy."
"OK dad, so what's a biitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."


************************************************** ***********

A blonde pushes her Harley into a dealer. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "And how often do I have to do that?"

************************************************** ***********

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.

St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a pennis?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a pennis?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her a$$ in it."