My Drinking Team Has A Racing Problem

 

Ahhhh.....I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
Sarcasm, just one more free service we offer.
You can become so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good.

 

A golf shirt i saw one time: "I hit two good ***** today....... I stepped on a rake ".

 

how about: I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar
or, You can always tell a Texan, you can't tell 'em much, but you can tell always tell 'em

 

Luck is one of my many skills.

Baseball
Football
Basketball
Tennis &
Golf
Only require one ball
Racing takes two.

(Gravity)
Some people have no respect for the law.

 

Friends don't let friends join the Seirra Club.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

T-Shirt reads...."I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try and keep up."

"Oh cool, you bought a new Ford. Now you can break in all those tools."[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

The other line always moves faster.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.

 

Yes it does[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

"Work harder- someone on welfare is depending on you." I just saw that one on my way to work today, thought I'd share...

 

Bought a banshee that had some stickers on it. My favorites are:

"If you not into oral s*x, keep your mouth shut."

and my favorite

"My inner child is a mean little Fu**er!" I wish I could find another one of these stickers.

The same bike had a key ring on it that says, "If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer."

 

Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life overcoming
Dont Judge what you cant catch, for you have not yet seen me up close
Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare
Pizza is a lot like $ex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good

 

Hmmm....you haven't been hanging out with Andrew Luster have you? LOL