The courts require 6 months before a divorce is finalized for a reason. It allows anger to subside and clear minds to prevail.
My wife and I separated and it took up to 3 days shy of the final divorce date to reconcile....

I find it difficult to believe after only 2 weeks you have come to the conclusion the marriage is over. It sounds to me like you have given up way to soon. Allot can happen in the months to come. A couple of more weeks or months you may be singing a different tune.

I will pray for you, your wife and your kids.

“The best inheritance a father can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.”

“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.”


By the way...My wife and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in November.

 

Craig,

I too have wrestled with similar range of feelings you have now. For me, the hardest part was when she, in a rage, took the kids away and gave me about 30 seconds to say goodbye. I was trying to make the divorce amicable. I wanted to ease the kids into the idea that we were moving apart. But she had other ideas. A year later my wife told me that after she moved out, my son cried all the way home, even got sick in the car. She had to pull over. I now understand that it took him about a year to get over the hard part. I'm sure it was hard on him, back then we had pretty regular visits, and to be honest, I wonder if they actually helped or not. Everytime I would visit, she would rage more, my son would cry is head off, she would bring out the lawyers more, and try the total control thing. After three years, I think she just got tired of it. Thats a lot of wasted energy.

For me, I did hate her for what she did to my son. She tramatized him when she didnt have to. But I learned to forgive her, and when I did I realized how much hate that I had stored up impacted the rest of my life, I forgave her. Whats even more interesting, I realized just why I was Christian to begin with. "Love your enemies, bless them that curse your, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use and persecute you." Matthew 5:43.

Those are good words, no matter what your religion. You know it never made sence to me that I would want to forgive someone that didnt say they were sorry. Now I get it. I can even see it with the people I deal with every day. Once in a while I can tell someone just has it out for me - Before all of this, I would fight them tooth and nail! Now I present the facts, try to be as polite as possible, and leave it at that. Im sure someday they too will realize that holding that much hate inside is a bad thing.

I dont know if any of this can apply to you. Hopefully your situation will get better.

Marky

 

[quote]
Originally posted by: SCOUNDREL
The courts require 6 months before a divorce is finalized for a reason.

Wow 6 months! We have an express lane here in Indiana, 60 days.

 

[quote]
Originally posted by: Coyoteman

Bahahahaha.....Drive thru divorce.....hahahaha. Why even bother to marry at all. And they call Californians forward thinking..... [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]


Children never recover from a divorce no matter how amicable it is. They learn to suppress it at best. It will effect them nearly their entire life. Even as adults they will question their own thoughts on marriage.

 

The way she is acting with the kids is pretty much like what happened to me my brother and sister. She used to be loving and then couldn't give a F about us. Be strong and be there for the kids it only gets so bad before it starts to get better, you'll pull through! don't worry. It will get better over time.

 

im glad you decided to let it go. once a spouse cheats you can never trust them again. sounds like shes living it up. give it some time before the divorce and she might mess up. even though your seperated theres not suppose to be anyone living with her. you can make it thru this with god in your life. get involved in church and make new friends there. a church family that you can lean on is great and depend on jesus because he will never let you down. stay strong. ill be praying for you as im sure many others are.

 

Scoundrel, The express lane comment was just sarcasm....But all seriousness, there is a 60 day waiting peroid after filing here in Indiana. Most divorces don't happen that quick though, too many variables, some take years.

 

Its a very positive thing especially for the kids when your able to maintain a civil or as you have a good relationship after, but you bring up another very good point as well.

Not everyone realizes this but there is a distinct and large difference between loving someone, and being in love with them.

This was actually what one of my friends had told to them before they split up (she loved him, but was not in love with him), and it took him a very long time to realize the difference.

 

We call those Britney weddings......lol

 

Craig, Post away it's good to have an outlet for the feelings you are having....much better than letting them bottle up inside...you have gotten some great advice here...this is a fantastic group of guys....keep your head up better days will come believe me.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]