Hi guys. I know this is off topic, but this is like a family, so here goes. I pulled in from ds days about 5:30 P.M. on Monday. I'm unloading the fth wheel and my wife comes out. She tells me we need to talk. We go into the house and she tells me she want's a divorce. I couldn't believe it. I just fell to the ground and sobbed like a baby. I just feel that I need to vent a little. I thought we were living the dream. Nice big house, two great kids, toys and tons of happiness. I know that this happens all the time and many have gone through this. This is just the most God aweful thing that could ever have happened. I might not be on for a while. I just wan't to say that this is a great forum, with good people and great friends. I love all of you guys!!!!!Say a prayer for me, Thanks, Craig

 

Hope everything works out for you. I know that it is very devistating to hear those words from someone you love but keep your chin up and always remember that you were happy before you got married to her and you can be happy again it might take a while but be strong and you can do it . Also the kids will always love you no matter what happens becouse you are their dad.
Remember be strong.

 

Keep your chin up. Get some counciling. Ask her attend, maybe things will work out. Maybe now that you are home, maybe she will change her mind.
Why is it that women wait until you come home from something like this to do stuff like this!! I hate it!
I feel bad for you. We are here to support you!
Carl.

 

I'm really sorry to hear that, Craig. I know what it feels like, my x-wife did the same thing seven years ago. I never even seen it coming. I was devastated and couldn't believe what was happening. I wish I would have known then what I know now, it would have been a lot easier to let her go........... So believe me, things will work out for you reguardless of the outcome of your marriage. Continue to be yourself, keep a clear head. and don't do anthing you will regret later. Hang in there bud.

 

Sorry to here your bad news. Just remember you have friends on the forum you can talk to. Goodluck.

 

If it truly is a "shock" to you and she is not giving reasons for leaving that make some sense you may want to look into Hormone problems. Age related or BC induced. I had a similar incident due to Birth Control. It is a very difficult topic to address because she does not want you to be blaming the problem on "HER". Professional counseling is the only way to go. If this is off topic for your situation, sorry. I do feel for you and know where you are coming from. Good luck and count on one prayer from idaho.

Justin

 

Before I start my rant. I will pre apologize to anyone I offend, as the following is just my observations.

If it wasn't for men, with all of the quality of life inventions throughout the last few thousand years by men, women probably wouldn't have survived. It was men who built weapons protected them, built fires to warm them, killed animals, and gathered food to feed them, men who allowed them to be equal in our society, when physically, they are not. Granted our society has developed way past the need for physicality to survive, but it was men who engineered that.

It really pisses me off when women expect to be put on a pedestal by their men, when they don't really deserve it! They bitch and complain, because they are "more verbal" than men, but don't want us to fix anything that they are bitching about, they just want to"vent"....

 

w1ngnut,

Sorry to hear about this. Every single situation like this is totally different. I can tell you that I have been through divorce. My marraige was never happy, I abosolutely tried everything for years to make it work. In the end, I started getting concerned about my kids seeing how unhappy I was and thinking this was what marraige was supposed to be. I wanted the divorce in my situation, but it was no surprise to her. I started talking about problems of our marriage three years before the divorce actually happened. After 6 marriage councellors, severel church leadership meetings, and some big attempts to restart what we originally had - nothing worked. In the end, I thought I was ready for the separation. I thought everybody was going to be happier. While it is true, the kids are better, I am better, and my EX has toned down her rage, there have been unforseen ramifications. My church pretty much disowned me, my own dad did the same, and I had work friends, who are grown up kids from divorces, torpedo my career simply because I am a divorced father - the bad man.

So, my advice to you is make sure there is nothing left that you can do to make it work. If you dont, you will always wonder if you could have saved it. I dont have these feelings.

Five rules to remember when thinking about divorce.

Rule #1. Be prepared to pay for every visit with your kids - one way or the other.
Rule #2. Dont expect the state to give a ****.
Rule #3. Expect your church to disown you
Rule #4. Dont be surprised to have your EX crash your family reunion - and actually be welcomed.
Rule #5. Expect your quad friends to stick with you .... that you can count on.

Marky

 

Man. . . what's going on these days??? I've had more people I know go through this lately. I just don't get it!

Sorry to hear about it.

Advise from what I've seen / heard. . .

(IF - things can't be worked out.)

Get a lawyer.

Don't move out of the house or let your wife move out without talking to the lawyer first.

If you move out it looks like you are abandoning the family / kids
If she moves out you will be responsible for the mortgage
Don't settle for anything less than 50% custody. #1 - they are YOUR kids - they need you. #2 - child support will kill you if you don't have at least 50% custody.

Don't agree to anything in writing unless your lawyer says it's O.K.

Get over-it. Some people let it tear them up for the rest of their lives. There are a lot of quality people out there and you shouldn't have too much trouble finding someone else when you are ready.

 

Wing, I can't imagine what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. Seems to me that it doesn't matter why she wants out or that you were blind-sided..... She seems to have checked out. I'm a very blessed man, and very lucky to have my wife. It's something that takes more work and more effort than anything else in my life. Not everyone is willing to put that effort into a relationship. Sounds like there is alot more to the story, and that it could get ugly. Keep you head up and walk proud. You have worth in this world and you matter. Keep close to your kids and NEVER let them go.

I'm here in Vegas if you need a pal. I can be reached easily. I've sent you a PM with my numbers.


Good Luck and hang in there.

BigMike