Dang.....dog farts
#41
02-04-2005, 10:11 PM
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Dang.....dog farts
Originally posted by: BryceGTX
Hey elkbow.
I don't know if this is the thread to put this in. I have been waiting for a thread on human farts or cat farts. Something that I might be able to speak with some authority on. But alas, no such thread. So I hope you guys don't think down on my off topic post. Because I have no significant experience with dog farts. Non-the-less, here is my somewhat related smelly experience.
My wife use to have a cat. This cat loved her quite a lot, but only barely put up with me. In order to win over this cats affection I would often times give it some fresh milk. Which the cat greedily drank up. My wife; however, was very insistent that the cat must never have people food. It must only eat kitty food and water. So I had to feed the cat on the sly. Haha, wife will not find out, and the cat will not hate me. The problem was that every time I feed the cat milk, my wife always somehow knew. This went on for quite a few weeks. I would feed the cat, my wife would yell at me. Even though she never saw me feed the cat, she somehow found out. I began to think that she had some kind of female-feline thing that men are unable to understand. Clearly some type of sixth sense. Finally, after yet another another night of being yelled for feeding the cat, I admitted that I had been bribing the cat with milk. And I asked her, what is this sixth sense between you and the cat that the cat uses to squeal on me? My wife said she uses her nose. Whaaat!! How do you talk with the cat with your nose? She continued, no you idiot, don't you know that whenever the cat eats milk her farts smell? Haha.. all that work only to be foiled by a fart!
Sorry for the off topic, but it was the closest true life experience I could come up with.
Have a great day
BryceGtx
PS Besides, I hate to see this thread die [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
Hey elkbow.
I don't know if this is the thread to put this in. I have been waiting for a thread on human farts or cat farts. Something that I might be able to speak with some authority on. But alas, no such thread. So I hope you guys don't think down on my off topic post. Because I have no significant experience with dog farts. Non-the-less, here is my somewhat related smelly experience.
My wife use to have a cat. This cat loved her quite a lot, but only barely put up with me. In order to win over this cats affection I would often times give it some fresh milk. Which the cat greedily drank up. My wife; however, was very insistent that the cat must never have people food. It must only eat kitty food and water. So I had to feed the cat on the sly. Haha, wife will not find out, and the cat will not hate me. The problem was that every time I feed the cat milk, my wife always somehow knew. This went on for quite a few weeks. I would feed the cat, my wife would yell at me. Even though she never saw me feed the cat, she somehow found out. I began to think that she had some kind of female-feline thing that men are unable to understand. Clearly some type of sixth sense. Finally, after yet another another night of being yelled for feeding the cat, I admitted that I had been bribing the cat with milk. And I asked her, what is this sixth sense between you and the cat that the cat uses to squeal on me? My wife said she uses her nose. Whaaat!! How do you talk with the cat with your nose? She continued, no you idiot, don't you know that whenever the cat eats milk her farts smell? Haha.. all that work only to be foiled by a fart!
Sorry for the off topic, but it was the closest true life experience I could come up with.
Have a great day
BryceGtx
PS Besides, I hate to see this thread die [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
I'm not really a cat fan though....I like an animal that does something other than sit around, something I can walk or take riding on my ATV. When I have my Rottweiler on the back of my ATV, nobody will mess with you, don't even have anyone come up to me and ask me anything or giving me crap about where I'm riding. The dog is the ultimate security system for my Polaris...
#42
02-08-2005, 11:45 PM
Dang.....dog farts
LOL elkbow, I know what you mean about cats. My wife's second cat was quite different than any other cat I have ever seen. Instead of cowering away to some long lost corner of the house when a stranger entered the house; this cat sat wherever it was, and it expected you to go around it. And if you even made a motion to contest its clear dominance, it would first give you the most vicious growl, spit, noise and scream. If that didn't scare you enough it would attack you. This cat did not last long!! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
BryceGTX
BryceGTX
#43
02-08-2005, 11:48 PM
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Dang.....dog farts
Originally posted by: BryceGTX
LOL elkbow, I know what you mean about cats. My wife's second cat was quite different than any other cat I have ever seen. Instead of cowering away to some long lost corner of the house when a stranger entered the house; this cat sat wherever it was, and it expected you to go around it. And if you even made a motion to contest its clear dominance, it would first give you the most vicious growl, spit, noise and scream. If that didn't scare you enough it would attack you. This cat did not last long!! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
BryceGTX
LOL elkbow, I know what you mean about cats. My wife's second cat was quite different than any other cat I have ever seen. Instead of cowering away to some long lost corner of the house when a stranger entered the house; this cat sat wherever it was, and it expected you to go around it. And if you even made a motion to contest its clear dominance, it would first give you the most vicious growl, spit, noise and scream. If that didn't scare you enough it would attack you. This cat did not last long!! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
BryceGTX
#44
02-09-2005, 02:43 AM
Dang.....dog farts
Yea I understand, I shot at a Red fox that had been killing my now ex wife cats well im a good shot but not that night shot the cat insted lol any way it lived 2 days at the vet (not my doing) I was going to use a .05 cent bullet but the vet charged $700 and it still died. I made sure that the first bullet got them from then on, I mean the foxes.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
#46
02-10-2005, 12:11 AM
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Dang.....dog farts
You know how they say those cats have nine lives....the ones around here don't....what cracks me up is when I drive down the road and there is a sign 'LOST CAT'....its not lost, the coyotes made a meal of it. I see them often early in the morning while going to work, you can't have an outside cat around here.
They don't come around my yard anyways, those cats seem to know when there is a 110 pound Rottweiler in the backyard. Damn dog, hope he doesn't gas me out tonight. I cooked a Sirloin steak on the grill, it had a fairly big bone in it, so I figured I would let him chew the meat off it. About two minutes later it was gone....dang Rottweilers have the nasty jaws that can break anything....he ate the whole bone, chewed it apart....in a couple of minutes....guess I better watch what I give him from now on...
They don't come around my yard anyways, those cats seem to know when there is a 110 pound Rottweiler in the backyard. Damn dog, hope he doesn't gas me out tonight. I cooked a Sirloin steak on the grill, it had a fairly big bone in it, so I figured I would let him chew the meat off it. About two minutes later it was gone....dang Rottweilers have the nasty jaws that can break anything....he ate the whole bone, chewed it apart....in a couple of minutes....guess I better watch what I give him from now on...
#47
02-10-2005, 01:34 AM
#48
02-10-2005, 02:11 AM
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Dang.....dog farts
I'm not really sure my dog would do anything with a cat unless it got in the backyard....the yard is his. I noticed he had some scabs on his next last week, so one of the neighbor dogs got hold of him over the wall....the neighbor has two nasty Rottweiler/Chow mixes, and they're big and mean. My dog fights them over the wall since the wall is only about 3 ft on my side. The brown dog is getting smart, my dog fights the black one and then the brown one comes jumping at him to get hold of him, well I guess it was payback....I heard some squealing one day, i look out the window, my dog has the brown dog by his face, under his jaw and on the side of his head, I ran out there, but the dog got away....brought my dog in the house in case the neighbor got pissed when he saw the wounds. Realistically my dog wants to play, but their dogs don't, so now the war is on, every day....
I had a german shepard about a 1/2 mile from here that used to scare the crap out of me when I walked my dog. The wall is about 5 1/2 feet high and I was walking the dog and that shepard jumped up and missed biting my face by about 4 inches. Scared the crap out of me. So the next night I grabbed my pepper spray (police strength) and walked by, sure enough up he comes. He got a face and mouth full of that pepper spray....I hauled butt after I heard him screaming....I hosed him pretty good, so if he went in the house afterwards the people knew what happened. Haven't seen him jump up on the wall since. I also got bit two years ago by a neighbor dog, punctured about 5 holes in my hand. I'm still waiting to hose down that dog with some red liquid....or hoping he gets out since he is mean and I have my Rott with me...
I had a german shepard about a 1/2 mile from here that used to scare the crap out of me when I walked my dog. The wall is about 5 1/2 feet high and I was walking the dog and that shepard jumped up and missed biting my face by about 4 inches. Scared the crap out of me. So the next night I grabbed my pepper spray (police strength) and walked by, sure enough up he comes. He got a face and mouth full of that pepper spray....I hauled butt after I heard him screaming....I hosed him pretty good, so if he went in the house afterwards the people knew what happened. Haven't seen him jump up on the wall since. I also got bit two years ago by a neighbor dog, punctured about 5 holes in my hand. I'm still waiting to hose down that dog with some red liquid....or hoping he gets out since he is mean and I have my Rott with me...
#49
02-10-2005, 03:55 AM
Dang.....dog farts
here's a fitting joke for this thread.
A guy goes to his new girlfriends rich parents house for dinner for the first time. While they are enjoying a good meal, he feels one creaping up. After a few minutes, he can't hold it anymore and lets one slide, hoping to silent. It's not. The mother looks down at the dog laying at his feet and exclaims, "Fluffy" In a semi-harsh tone. The guy is overjoyed, he got away with it. As the night drags on, this happens a couple more times and each time the dog is blamed. As desert was being served, the guy, feeling confident that he would share non of the blame, lets another one rip. The mother then yells at the dog, "Fluffy!! Get over here before he ***** on you!!"
A guy goes to his new girlfriends rich parents house for dinner for the first time. While they are enjoying a good meal, he feels one creaping up. After a few minutes, he can't hold it anymore and lets one slide, hoping to silent. It's not. The mother looks down at the dog laying at his feet and exclaims, "Fluffy" In a semi-harsh tone. The guy is overjoyed, he got away with it. As the night drags on, this happens a couple more times and each time the dog is blamed. As desert was being served, the guy, feeling confident that he would share non of the blame, lets another one rip. The mother then yells at the dog, "Fluffy!! Get over here before he ***** on you!!"
#50
02-12-2005, 12:25 AM