OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
#1
OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
Well the title says it all! Come up with any jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny! Try to be a comedian if you have to. But keep it appropriate enough so the mods don't frown and delete this thread. I don't have any jokes on my mind now but I'll post something some time....... I guarentee my friend BALLS2THEWALLS will post some funny $hit though!!!! SO....... LET 'ER RIP!!!![img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
#2
OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
Well PUSHINGTHELIMIT said that I could come up with some funny stuff so I will try my best with some thoughts i have somtimes.......I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
#3
OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
A Chicano named Rodriquez went to his doctor to determine the source of his
sickness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked
Rodriquez in the eye and said," I've got some bad news for you. You have
cancer, and it's very bad. You'd best put your affairs in order." Rodriquez
was shocked and saddened. But, being of solid character, he managed to
compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room.
To his son who had been waiting, Rodriquez said, "Well son, we Chicanos
celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so
well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer. Let's head for the
bar and have a few beers."
After 3 or 4 beers, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of
Rodriquez's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Rodriquez
told them that Chicanos celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell
them that they were drinking to his impending end.
He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
His son's eyebrows raised and he opened his mouth, but Rodriquez raised his
finger and the frown on his face stifled what his son had planned to say.
The friends gave Rodriquez their condolences, and they had a couple more
beers.
After his friends left, Rodriquez's son leaned over and whispered his
confusion. "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You
just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"
Rodriquez said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after
I'm gone."
sickness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked
Rodriquez in the eye and said," I've got some bad news for you. You have
cancer, and it's very bad. You'd best put your affairs in order." Rodriquez
was shocked and saddened. But, being of solid character, he managed to
compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room.
To his son who had been waiting, Rodriquez said, "Well son, we Chicanos
celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so
well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer. Let's head for the
bar and have a few beers."
After 3 or 4 beers, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of
Rodriquez's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Rodriquez
told them that Chicanos celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell
them that they were drinking to his impending end.
He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
His son's eyebrows raised and he opened his mouth, but Rodriquez raised his
finger and the frown on his face stifled what his son had planned to say.
The friends gave Rodriquez their condolences, and they had a couple more
beers.
After his friends left, Rodriquez's son leaned over and whispered his
confusion. "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You
just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"
Rodriquez said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after
I'm gone."
#4
#5
#6
OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
Okay here goes.
There is 2 woodpeckers sitting in a tree talking, one from California, and the other from Hawaii.
The Hawaiian woodpecker says that there is a tree in Hawaii that no other Hawaiian woodpecker could peck through. So the Californian woodpecker says lets go try.
So they fly there and the Californian woodpecker pecks right through it no problem.
So the Californian says the same thing about a tree in California, and the Hawaiian says lets go try it out.
So they fly to California and just like that the Hawaiian woodpecker pecks right through it.
Both birds sitting in the tree stumped came to a conclusion about this little problem.
The conclusion is: When you are away from home your pecker is always harder
There is 2 woodpeckers sitting in a tree talking, one from California, and the other from Hawaii.
The Hawaiian woodpecker says that there is a tree in Hawaii that no other Hawaiian woodpecker could peck through. So the Californian woodpecker says lets go try.
So they fly there and the Californian woodpecker pecks right through it no problem.
So the Californian says the same thing about a tree in California, and the Hawaiian says lets go try it out.
So they fly to California and just like that the Hawaiian woodpecker pecks right through it.
Both birds sitting in the tree stumped came to a conclusion about this little problem.
The conclusion is: When you are away from home your pecker is always harder
#7
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#8
OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
Sometimes when I look back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif[/img]
#9
OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your twinkie."She says, "Yes, and I'm gonna get ***** too."
Jerico1
#10
OT: A post dedicated to jokes, one liners, or ANYTHING funny!!!
Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, ''Mommy, I have to ****.''
The mother said, ''Son don't say **** in church. Next time you have to ****, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite.
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, ''Daddy I have to whisper.''
The father said, ''OK. Here, whisper in my ear.''
The mother said, ''Son don't say **** in church. Next time you have to ****, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite.
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, ''Daddy I have to whisper.''
The father said, ''OK. Here, whisper in my ear.''