w1ngnut,

Those are some good signs. Communication, as everyone knows, is huge. She may not have said anything before, but now she is. Thats like gold in my opinion. Hope things keep getting better.

 

Craig,

When my wife and I separated 8 years ago I read off a list of everything I gave her, you know, a big house, cars toys, furniture, clothes, jewelry, etc, etc.....She looked at me with a puzzled look and responded with......"But nothing was for my heart".....

It hit me like a ton of bricks....Those 6 words woke me up to the real problem. The material things were not important to her. It was the emotional things.

I have learned to do the simple things that strengthens her heart.....A call from work to tell her I lover her, a single red rose set to her work, a kiss as soon as I get home. LISTEN to her when she complains ( It usually meant she was hurting about something completely unrelated) I have made it a crucial part of my coming home from work to seek her out before anything else and give her a kiss. I have taught the kids that this is what Dad is going to do so don't get in the way. Now when I come home they just point and say " Mom is over there !!"....

I can't emphasize enough that it's the simple things that make the difference.

 

Awesome post SCOUNDREL.

 

Amen.

 

Out of the guys I know who had divorces because of a cheating spouse, they all had the first reaction to forgive their spouse and want to work things out. Most were unable too. The problem is is that once a spouse cheats, they may still care about you but are no longer deeply in love with you. A marriage can not last, nor be restarted, when love is one sided. This may not be what you want to hear, but having experienced it with them, with them crying and not wanting to give up, I dont want you to put alot of energy into going that route. You are in a low right now, a black period in your life, that is very hard. But, do not give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will find another in time, someone else to care about, if you are unable to resolve matters with your wife. Just keep your eye on the future when you feel really low, imagine the happiness in your life yet to come. Post during any low moments. One other thing- when I go through tough moments I like to work on things with my tools to get my mind clear for a bit. I've taken apart all kinds of things, and been able to put most of them back together successfully. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

 

It will take 2 years before your life normilizes. There will be steps and stages but it will take this long. Just except this and in a couple years you'll be back on top again. My brother sold his house 4 years after their breakup and that was the last piece, but for the last couple years he has been dating around, he's 42 and he has been banging dozens in their mid 20's and they are nice little hotties.

 

hey craig,

remain strong.....something like this happened to me...the only thing i can say is

COMMUNICATION--COMMUNICATION.....ALOT OF COUNSLING...

you can separate and still work things out....

BELEIVE IT OR NOT THIS MADE US SO MUCH STRONGER AND WE ACTUALLY GREW AND LEARNED FROM IT!

YOU NEED TO FIND OUT WHY--she was missing something mentally and emotionally FIX IT AND GIVE IT TO HER--this is were the counseling comes in to play.....

money, houses and quads dont mean $hit to woman---they function on a whole different level...

i will be there for you anytime, if you want my # let me know and we can talk---ANY TIME I MEAN IT..YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

 

Craig,

I hope that whatever happens that it works out for the best for you. My brother recently got divorced - as mentioned a dozen times before, every situation is different however after about 9 months of being apart I can honestly say my brother is a completely different person. He is happy, friendly, nice, enjoying life, even talkitive now. Before he used to be grumpy, eternally tired, angry and just difficult to talk to or be around. He was pretty upset when it happened but at this point it seems to have been the best thing that could have happened for him. I think his ex-wife is a nice person, but I just think they were a bad couple & were a terrible match. Wether you work it out or it breaks off we're still going to drag you out to the dunes and throw some sand around so that you can go to sleep in whatever bed your in with sand in your ears, up your nose, in your butt crack and like it just like the rest of us.

Not only is the DS community here to talk about quads, we're also a support group. hahahha

(Tired of the Polaris ad? replace the word 'tough' in your post with the word difficult..)

 

Lets not sugar coat this people. You MUST realise there is 2 weeks out of the month that "some" women go insane.
Its usually 1 week before there menstrual cycle and the week during, you HAVE to realize why they act this way (no its not your fault all the time).. Its a fact proven thats why there is midol and such. Now during this "peroid" time they can conjure up a MILLION reasons why you are worthless and how they think the grass is greener on the other side. YET in the normalcy period of the month the woman are perfectly fine. Some poor fellas dont realize this and blame themselves and get caught up in the periodic blame game. Dont get me wrong, There are exeptions for these situatons.. If a man is truely neglecting his women and she has a legit complaint thats another story, you know you have neglected and thats why you go the extra mile to appease your good women. But if A women violates and takes advantage of a honest man it is hard to forgive. Would you rather live with someone you cant trust and say "yeah work it out" Get counseling. Deep down inside it is torturous for the average guy to have to rebuild trust for the rest of his life always stressing..

Alot of girls have been honest with me and told me up front that they are not too socially acceptable a week or 2 out of the month. I admire this honesty and thats the kind of honesty that deserves a flower occasionally. If your lady thinks the grass is greener, Tell her to go and graze....


Disclaimer- this does not apply to ALL wemon, just 99.993% J/k


The wemon who are past the mid life cycle, and shouldnt have periodic depression.. Well, there just trying to re-live the moment.

 

My ex often told me she had PMS (both Pre- and Post) two weeks before and two weeks after. I know its funny as heck now, but thats what she actually said. If any men are interested, I'd be more than happy to hook you up! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img]