i can tell you, i have been there, but the story is not important. the outcome is though. i am a rarity, and am well aware of it.
i came home from working a second shift, only to find my house empty, and my 1 year old son gone. i lost everything, and that was o.k. my son was o.k. and my life just changed alot. i was in love.
it took me 3 years to fully recover, and was dealing with child support, bills, starting over, and no money. she tore me up, and i accepted this. now, i tell you this, so you can understand me today!!!

i am vary happlied remarried, for 10 years now. i did not see my previous marrage was not good, becouse i had nothing to compare it too, now i do. to compare them is not even fare. before, i would tell you how good it was, now i allready know it, and dont need to tell anyone, they can clearly see, and allready know.

my ex wife and my wife, myself, are best friends today. she went camping with us this weekend, and we share our lives all the time, even to me being god father to her son. i can talk to her for hours, without my wife being even a little jelous. we hug, say i love you when she leaves, and mean it, just not in the way we once did.

i tell you all this, so you might realize, one day, the light might just shine, and you might realize, everything happens for a reason. i now know this, and am thankful every day that so many years back, she left me.
i worked hard to keep my son in my life all the time, and when he turned 13, he moved in with me. he sees how we are, and thanked me more than once for this. his life is better for it.

i ate crap, took some blows, got knocked down, suffered quite a bit, lost everything that i THOUGHT mattered( material) lost all the money i had, and thank god for it everyday now.
it is not suffering that weakens you, but not going through it that leaves you hollow. this, like all things, will pass, and if you allow it to, it can teach you life lessons like you never thought possible. i am a student to it, and am a better man for it.
i will be thinking about you alot in the future, and pray for you and your children. i will chime in to check on your progress, now and then also.
god bless, and take care of you, and your children. everything else is not important, becouse the heart and soul is all that really matters.

 

Hi. Guys. I'm still kicking. I have been a little busy and overwhelmed as you can all imagine. I would like to say once again thank you for all the love.....c ya soon.....remember rubberside down....CP

 

“If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise.”

 

i stated that, only becouse it is true. to not suffer, or go through lifes downs, its harder to love the up sides to life. an example is to hear someone state, i thought i was going to die, and nothing i had came into my mind, just my family. after that, they live a more meager life, with family, and friends at the top. noone likes to suffer, or go through hard times, god knows i dont. but, if you have to, there is alot to learn from it. maybe thats why the elders are so much wiser, who really knows.
just my 02.

 

SCOUNDREL, do you have a book full of these phrases or do you think of them all your self?

I really like the line about the slinky, and my wife even laughed uncontrollably when I told it to her. She usually doesnt find me all that funny. LOL [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

Hang in there w1ngnut.

 

Sorry to hear about that. I know what you are going through. My wife did the same thing to me a year ago. I thought she was happy but that was just a front. It really sucks to be very happy and the whole time the other person isnt, and just hangs around because they are "comfortable". It took awhile to get over and now she has been remarried and has a child on the way, as for me I think I will be single for a very long time if not forever. I seem to have horrible luck with women..Keep your head straight and go out and have fun. Your kids will always be there and that is a good thing. Things will get better. But I will tell ya, I still miss being married!

 

Craig:

Keep us informed on how the recuperation is going.

 

Hi guys. Here I sit, it's 12:30am Monday morning and I have to be to work in 5 hours. I am felling a little better. I realize that this marriage is over. You all have to believe me I did more than I even thought I was capable of to make things work.
I can't even begin to tell you the range of emotions that I have had over these past two weeks. What kills me the most is what the kids are feeling. Every day I get the phone call before school....."Daddy, when are you coming home? We miss you, Mommy is being mean and we don't Like Jeromy being here".I kills me every morning when the phone rings at 6:50a.m.
This wife of mine was the ultimate mother, the most loving, protective mother you ever could have seen. Now she will leave the kids with who will ever take them. I have been taking the kids as much as I can to help ease their pain. We have not had an on time kid exchange yet. Everytime she is supposed to be home for the drop off or pick them up she's late, no call no show. I have found a house that is within walking distance of my wifes house and the kids school. I am going to hopefully lease it this week. I know I will feel better when I have my own place that I can call home and the kids can feel comfortable.
The hurt I feel is so deep It will take years to recover. I went to the sand show this weekend. All I could think about is the trips to the show that me and my family have taken ther in the past years..........which gets me thinking hmmmmmm, great, next is halloween, no family together. Then turkey day, xmas....etc. What I keep asking my self is how I can enjoy the things in life, that I enjoyed so much when my family was intact? How can it be that she left me for a different man? She is only one person and she has changed the lives of so many people! I'm sorry, but I had no idea that one person had so much power. I know that I will be better some day. I just don't know why I am being tested like this. I believe in a higher power, but why did he seem fit to test me? I'm trying to stay positive. I believe that this may be my chance to become a better father, husband and just a better person. I know that my kids and me both deserve to be happy. My kids need to see me happy and down the road they will.
I have to tell you all that I have re-read this post over and over. It is very thereputic. Once again I know I'm swerving all over the road. Thanks for reading and posting. ...take care, see ya soon..........Love Ya All, Craig

 

hey craig,
reading all these posts, as well as your feeling, has inadvertantly brought back the pain i felt once. as you move along, you put it behind you, ever so slowly. seeing others go through it can bring it back, but with a differant result. i remember not sleeping, wondering and so on. when i look back now, i realise how it affected everything i did after the fact. how it affects my marrage today( for the better) and how it changed me. hating the feelings, the pain, and the lonsome i felt back then( like i was the only one to ever hurt like this) made me a better man, even if i didn,t realise it until reading about you.
i thank you for sharing, so we can all humbilize in our own lives, and feel that going through what we have, might help another.
on moving close to your kids. i know you dont have to listen, but distance is not a bad thing. being too close can, and probibally will cause more sorrow, pain, and issues than what its worth. a few miles, and a few citys distance still makes you reachable, and only minutes from your kids. but it allows you to build a new life, maybe meeting new people, and opening up for you past life. time heals all, but distance helps.
just my 02

 

Your doing good, Craig. Stay focused on the kids, and offer to keep them as much as possible. By doing this you will be guaranteed their love and trust. It sounds like they need you more now than ever. Funny how a woman that is so responsible can become so irresponsible. Don't worry though, just keep showing the kids the right way, it will not only help them but help you too. I will guarantee you Craig, you will be over her sooner than you think. It does not take long when you can no longer stand how the other is acting, especially towards your children. Stay strong.