Off topic personal problem.
Mar 13, 2006 | 05:10 AM
#31
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Off topic personal problem.
i would help the ex wife she is the mother of your child for the rest of your life. your kids will appeciate it. plus in gods eyes she is still your wife. i wuld pray on this matter. and help her. did you promis to love her in sickniss and in good health to death due you part. divorce is some legal term. sometimes it takes god dropping a bomb on your life like this to see what really matters. and that's what love is. helping, being there loving unconditionally your wife when you disagree, however it takes two to be married, sometimes you and just god praying to put your life back together, and allowing him to work his unconditional love for both of you.
i will pray for your family, and i hope everything works out for you,
im not a preacher, just a fellow christian lending a hand when you asked for my input. my marriage almost ended in divorce due to a alcohol problem. when i hit rock bottom and nearly died in a car wreck my wife stuck it out for even though she hated me and even left me. i got saved in a baptist church, and turned my life over to jesus. i asked for forgiveness of my sins and read chapter john316 of the king james new edition/ new testement of the bible that she gave me. since them times in 1999 i have became a totally different person. god put me where he wanted me and placed good people around me. i have dedicated my life to helping others now as a police officer and have a close relationship with our savior. he helped me and he is waiting to help you and everyone else in this world if you ask him. if you want to find true happiness try jesus. you can always go back to disbeliveing. he can answer any question you have, and put your life together.
sorry if i stepped on anyones toes but when you asked me i had to reply with the truth. it is what sets us free
being a christian is not easy. i struggle every day to keep my beliefs due to living in a world of hatred and seing the darkside of life from my eyes. but jesus keeps me strong and i turn to him every day. becoming a christian you have to be reborn, you start out as an infant with a loud mouth and endless problems like a baby has. jesus is understanding with all problems. right now im learning to find his teachings in the bible and using his teachings as the fabric of my life principal and ways to live by. he blesses me because of it and i see it in my life, work , home life and comfort. that's how i know he's there. and the words in the bible are true. he gives me power over evil and i use it every day, i turn towards him when im in need, especially and when im content with the way my life is going.
also by the way, he promises eternal life for beleiving in him, and a place in heaven, it's the best life insurance policy you can have
i will pray for your family, and i hope everything works out for you,
im not a preacher, just a fellow christian lending a hand when you asked for my input. my marriage almost ended in divorce due to a alcohol problem. when i hit rock bottom and nearly died in a car wreck my wife stuck it out for even though she hated me and even left me. i got saved in a baptist church, and turned my life over to jesus. i asked for forgiveness of my sins and read chapter john316 of the king james new edition/ new testement of the bible that she gave me. since them times in 1999 i have became a totally different person. god put me where he wanted me and placed good people around me. i have dedicated my life to helping others now as a police officer and have a close relationship with our savior. he helped me and he is waiting to help you and everyone else in this world if you ask him. if you want to find true happiness try jesus. you can always go back to disbeliveing. he can answer any question you have, and put your life together.
sorry if i stepped on anyones toes but when you asked me i had to reply with the truth. it is what sets us free
being a christian is not easy. i struggle every day to keep my beliefs due to living in a world of hatred and seing the darkside of life from my eyes. but jesus keeps me strong and i turn to him every day. becoming a christian you have to be reborn, you start out as an infant with a loud mouth and endless problems like a baby has. jesus is understanding with all problems. right now im learning to find his teachings in the bible and using his teachings as the fabric of my life principal and ways to live by. he blesses me because of it and i see it in my life, work , home life and comfort. that's how i know he's there. and the words in the bible are true. he gives me power over evil and i use it every day, i turn towards him when im in need, especially and when im content with the way my life is going.
also by the way, he promises eternal life for beleiving in him, and a place in heaven, it's the best life insurance policy you can have
Mar 13, 2006 | 06:29 AM
#32
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Off topic personal problem.
That is your childs mother and you are doing the right thing. Your G/F is acting insecure and immature ALTHOUGH her reaction isn't exactly a surprise. IF there were no child involved her concerns might be a bit more justified.
Have you thought of taking your son for a while so your ex doesn't have that burden?
Have you thought of taking your son for a while so your ex doesn't have that burden?
Mar 13, 2006 | 08:39 AM
#34
Supersock
Hired Gun!
"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!"
Hired Gun!
"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!"
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 142,218
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From: Land of the misfit toys
Off topic personal problem.
Been reading along, and think you're doing the right thing. 10 years from now, he'll still be your son, but will she be your g/f?
Another thing to consider. Chances are, it's your son who will pick out your nursing home later, not the g/f. If he sees the example you're setting, it might get you into a nicer one. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
Another thing to consider. Chances are, it's your son who will pick out your nursing home later, not the g/f. If he sees the example you're setting, it might get you into a nicer one. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
Mar 13, 2006 | 08:48 AM
#35
Extreme Pro Rider
THAT!!!!!Sounds down right sexy!
THAT!!!!!Sounds down right sexy!
Joined: Dec 2001
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Off topic personal problem.
Dude keep pushing forward it will all work out. I too had a very needy exwife.And yes it was the kid factor that kept me in place helping for years.I did not want my kids standards to have to drop because me and thier mother could not get along. I never had any child support payments or anythng of the such i just never quit taking care of my kids. I figured we are born knowing certain things and resposability is one thing a man should never forget.;Q keep hanging in there sooner or later life comes back around.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
And scooter my daughter alway's reminds me of that !!!!!!(joking'ly i hope:confused[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
And scooter my daughter alway's reminds me of that !!!!!!(joking'ly i hope:confused[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
Mar 13, 2006 | 10:19 AM
#36
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Off topic personal problem.
Originally posted by: Scatterbrain
Well it came to a head again tonight. I finally had to give her the boot. Im really bummed about it, I thought I knew her pretty good but I guess the honeymoon is over. Get this, Kid called, said he was hungry and wanted to me to come and make him some dinnner. Of course I said yes, mom is in bad shape and there a lull in people able to stay with her. GF was there and said " Why dont you just drop off some McDonalds?" Then lauched into the same crap she did the other night. I thought we had it worked out. Like Waylon Jennings said "Wrong, I should have known it all along" The part that really p!ssed me off was when she asked me what I would do when the Ex lost her job over this. I said help the best I can, Whatever it takes to get her goin again. Well long story short, she went sideways on me. I finally told her I was done and I thought she was mean spirtited and selfish. Too bad Ive had a really good time for the most part this last year. But im not going to back up on this deal for nothin. You guys were kind enough to help me on this out on this one, I thought I would let you know how it turned out . Thanks again
Scatter
Well it came to a head again tonight. I finally had to give her the boot. Im really bummed about it, I thought I knew her pretty good but I guess the honeymoon is over. Get this, Kid called, said he was hungry and wanted to me to come and make him some dinnner. Of course I said yes, mom is in bad shape and there a lull in people able to stay with her. GF was there and said " Why dont you just drop off some McDonalds?" Then lauched into the same crap she did the other night. I thought we had it worked out. Like Waylon Jennings said "Wrong, I should have known it all along" The part that really p!ssed me off was when she asked me what I would do when the Ex lost her job over this. I said help the best I can, Whatever it takes to get her goin again. Well long story short, she went sideways on me. I finally told her I was done and I thought she was mean spirtited and selfish. Too bad Ive had a really good time for the most part this last year. But im not going to back up on this deal for nothin. You guys were kind enough to help me on this out on this one, I thought I would let you know how it turned out . Thanks again
Scatter
Mar 13, 2006 | 01:49 PM
#37
Thread Starter
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Off topic personal problem.
Thanks again guys, You know the funny thing is that the ex has been worried about "getting me in trouble" And has alot of times been on the GF side of things on other issues. Another funny thing is GF has a similar relationship with her Ex (whom she still hasnt divorced yet) Hes always over there helping her around the house and at her business. When she says jump, hes says how high. They have kids together also. I have never had a problem with it, Hes also takin care of his own. I just dont see the difference. I get on fine with her ex. I guess its a classic case of do as I say not as I do. Which has kinda been a big issue between us alot lately. I really love her alot but I cant continue to get hammered by her every few days. Sucks man!
AZsand, Wow a softer side didnt know you had it in ya LOL[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] Thanks man, I appreciate the advise. Thanks to all that have put their .02 in.
Scatterbrain
AZsand, Wow a softer side didnt know you had it in ya LOL[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] Thanks man, I appreciate the advise. Thanks to all that have put their .02 in.
Scatterbrain
Mar 13, 2006 | 02:53 PM
#38
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Off topic personal problem.
Good luck with the whole thing Keith. All these guys are giving pretty good advise. You will be tied to that woman for the rest of your life being the mother of your child. Like they said, girlfriends will come and go, but that woman will be apart of your life forever. You are a great guy for taking care of her when she needs someone and if the girlfriend can't see that then maybe she isn't the right one for you. Wish you all the best brother.
Mar 13, 2006 | 07:51 PM
#39
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Off topic personal problem.
scatterbrain,
i would suggest you do this...sit down with your g/f and ask her in these exact words and do not deviate at all..WHAT IS IT THAT CONCERNS YOU ABOUT THIS...dont help her answer just sit there and wait for the response, after she answers ask her HOW WOULD SHE LIKE TO HANDLE IT in a calm and positive manner then from there without deviating ask her WHAT ELSE..handle that objection and keep asking WHAT ELSE until she has no more objectons and she will feel like she has solved the problem...this really works..by making her own the objection by answering HERSLEF.. you guys are increasing your communication and therefor she will have a better understanding of why you are doing it..the important part is the calm and positive manner..its a technigue called good roads, good weather...you are increasing your communication with her and she will then understand and agree with what you are doing...
never give her ANY ANWERS LET HER"THINK" SHE HANDLED IT ALL BY HERSELF..
i would suggest you do this...sit down with your g/f and ask her in these exact words and do not deviate at all..WHAT IS IT THAT CONCERNS YOU ABOUT THIS...dont help her answer just sit there and wait for the response, after she answers ask her HOW WOULD SHE LIKE TO HANDLE IT in a calm and positive manner then from there without deviating ask her WHAT ELSE..handle that objection and keep asking WHAT ELSE until she has no more objectons and she will feel like she has solved the problem...this really works..by making her own the objection by answering HERSLEF.. you guys are increasing your communication and therefor she will have a better understanding of why you are doing it..the important part is the calm and positive manner..its a technigue called good roads, good weather...you are increasing your communication with her and she will then understand and agree with what you are doing...
never give her ANY ANWERS LET HER"THINK" SHE HANDLED IT ALL BY HERSELF..