KERMIT CHATTER
#1831
03-29-2006, 01:39 PM
T Rex Rider
What irritates me is!
Those 6-packs work pretty good.
What irritates me is!
Those 6-packs work pretty good.
KERMIT CHATTER
[quote]
Originally posted by: DuneDragin
I was sorta thinking you could have the bologna. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
And I'd lick the creamy center of that cookie just to see how sweet it is. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
Originally posted by: DuneDragin
Originally posted by: Raptorlegs OH YEAH!!!! Make me a sandwich! [/b]
Sandwich....gee...HAM, TURKEY, BALOGNA
are you sure you would not prefer to be the creamy center of a cookie??
Sandwich....gee...HAM, TURKEY, BALOGNA
are you sure you would not prefer to be the creamy center of a cookie??
And I'd lick the creamy center of that cookie just to see how sweet it is. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
#1832
03-29-2006, 01:45 PM
#1833
03-29-2006, 01:47 PM
KERMIT CHATTER
Oil Change....
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Oil Change
Oil Change instructions for
Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube
when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a
check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
================================================== ========
Oil Change instructions for
Men:
1) Wait until Saturday,
drive to auto parts
store and
buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a
scented
tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a
case of beer, write
a check for
$20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30
minutes looking for
jack
stands.
5) Find jack stands under
kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open
another beer and drink
it.
7) Place drain pan under
engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end
wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent
wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan
of hot oil: splash
hot oil
on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car
to wipe hot oil off
of face
and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while
watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking
for oil filter
wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car
and hammer a
screwdriv
er through oil filter and twist off
16) Crawl out from under car
with dripping oil
filter
splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter
among
trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish
case of beer with
him.
Decide to finish oil
change tomorrow so you can
go see
his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church
because "I gotta finish
the oil
change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
Cleverly
dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to
Kragen to
recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on
oil spilled during
step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all
yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter
making sure to apply
a thin
coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of
fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from
step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug
in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used
oil is buried in a
hole in
the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer
28) Shovel out hole and sift
oily mud for drain
plug.
Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to
cleverly
cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties.
Wash drain
plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first
quart of fresh oil is
now on the
floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting
kitty litter into
eyes.
Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with
stupid
crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards
in reaction to step
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent
wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10
minutes because
wrench
hit bowling trophy.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and
forehead and bandage as
required
to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh
quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack
stands.
43) Accidentally crush
remaining case of new
motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply
more kitty litter to
fresh oil
spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over:
arrested for driving under
the
influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make
bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car
from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total - - $4,165.00
But you know the job was
done right!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Oil Change
Oil Change instructions for
Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube
when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a
check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
================================================== ========
Oil Change instructions for
Men:
1) Wait until Saturday,
drive to auto parts
store and
buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a
scented
tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a
case of beer, write
a check for
$20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30
minutes looking for
jack
stands.
5) Find jack stands under
kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open
another beer and drink
it.
7) Place drain pan under
engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end
wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent
wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan
of hot oil: splash
hot oil
on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car
to wipe hot oil off
of face
and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while
watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking
for oil filter
wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car
and hammer a
screwdriv
er through oil filter and twist off
16) Crawl out from under car
with dripping oil
filter
splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter
among
trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish
case of beer with
him.
Decide to finish oil
change tomorrow so you can
go see
his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church
because "I gotta finish
the oil
change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
Cleverly
dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to
Kragen to
recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on
oil spilled during
step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all
yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter
making sure to apply
a thin
coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of
fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from
step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug
in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used
oil is buried in a
hole in
the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer
28) Shovel out hole and sift
oily mud for drain
plug.
Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to
cleverly
cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties.
Wash drain
plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first
quart of fresh oil is
now on the
floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting
kitty litter into
eyes.
Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with
stupid
crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards
in reaction to step
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent
wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10
minutes because
wrench
hit bowling trophy.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and
forehead and bandage as
required
to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh
quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack
stands.
43) Accidentally crush
remaining case of new
motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply
more kitty litter to
fresh oil
spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over:
arrested for driving under
the
influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make
bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car
from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total - - $4,165.00
But you know the job was
done right!
#1834
03-29-2006, 01:56 PM
T Rex Rider
What irritates me is!
Those 6-packs work pretty good.
What irritates me is!
Those 6-packs work pretty good.
#1835
03-29-2006, 02:04 PM
#1836
03-29-2006, 02:49 PM
Supersock
Hired Gun!
"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!"
Hired Gun!
"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!"
KERMIT CHATTER
Speaking of lunch, I had enough time to fix mine while scrolling that post DD. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img]
I was just gonna fix a jelly sandwich. Whoops! Wrong jelly. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
I was just gonna fix a jelly sandwich. Whoops! Wrong jelly. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
#1837
03-29-2006, 03:21 PM
#1838
03-29-2006, 03:44 PM
KERMIT CHATTER
Originally posted by: DuneDragin
The closure of the county park has begun with the removal of the trash receptacles and the demolition of the picnic tables.
A move that will shut down the underage drinking that goes on at the park. No public access will clear up several pesky problems.
It will also put an end to any camping/parking.
Originally posted by: XR650Warrior
this thread has turned into a joke, no info. for the serious people that will travel 10+ hours to ride the Kermit Dunes, what's up over there ?
this thread has turned into a joke, no info. for the serious people that will travel 10+ hours to ride the Kermit Dunes, what's up over there ?
A move that will shut down the underage drinking that goes on at the park. No public access will clear up several pesky problems.
It will also put an end to any camping/parking.
KSI Site Forum
or for the forum challenged:
Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 12:49 pm
sandman
Moderator
Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 11
No parking means our property will be closed until such time as a new parking area is built. Local law enforcment has said they they will be giving citations for parking on the side of the road.
#1839
03-29-2006, 07:13 PM
KERMIT CHATTER
There is a 6 ft. burm along FM 874. The picnic tables are in the center of the park, crushed. There is 1 ft. of sand covering all asphalt. THERE IS NO ENTRY TO THE PARK. Zummyboy points fingers at all of us who wouldn't pay his $7. He blames us for the end of this great era. The fact of the matter is that the park has been open since 1953(4). There was never any talk of closing the park until KSI bought that land. There was never any serious problems. There was never any serious conflict. THERE WAS NEVER 20+ PHONE CALLS TO THE SHERIFF IN ONE DAY. Danny and goons have single handedly got the greatest gem in Texas demolished in a big heap of rubble in less than 90 days. Congradulations Dannyboy. Hard work has its rewards huh? Your right, it is hard work to close the park in less than 3 months. There are some of us who are working on restoring the dunes to better than it was before. And yes Danny, you are correct, hard work does have its rewards. And it will feel GREAT when we are all rewarded by the hard work of few, to the restoration of one of God's greatest gifts. THE GIFT OF FREEDOM FOR ALL TO RIDE.
#1840
03-29-2006, 07:14 PM